Gray Morality
by DeltaNovember
Summary: When Touhou's Izayoi Sakuya is snatched away from her master by some low-level magician from another world, she has no choice but to bide her time serving a false mistress. Just how far will the Scarlet Devil Mansion go to reclaim their lost property? Updates Thursdays.
1. Breaking Orthogonality

**Author's Forward**

Before we begin, there is an important note I would like to make.

The characters in this story are going to express some _nonstandard _and possibly offensive viewpoints. **These in no way necessarily reflect my own viewpoint or beliefs, nor do I claim they are superior, right, or rational.** If there are any events you find offensive, please realize **I do not necessarily condone anything my characters do.** Sakuya is not a nice person.

Future author's notes will be in my profile page, unless they're really important. I hope to keep author's notes out of the actual chapters as much as I can, but I'll ramble on in my profile page to my heart's content.

Fair warning, this is the first fanfic I have written. Take from that what you will, but I'm sure many mistakes will be made. But I hope this will be enjoyable all the same.

And lastly, thank you for reading. Truly.

Disclaimer: I don't own any _Touhou _nor _Zero no Tsukaima _characters, settings or events.

**Chapter 1  
Breaking Orthogonality**

Deep in the forest, on the edges of the Misty Lake, lies a mansion. Although its existence is relatively new in Gensokyo, it has the look of having existed for ages. A Victorian-era mansion, painted dark maroon, blended into the forested landscape as if it was meant to be there from the beginning of time. And yet, its towers stretch over a hundred feet into the air, its larger halls over five stories tall, and a high wall surrounds the entire structure. And looming high above the rest is an ornate clock tower, the face and hands visible for miles around. And yet, strangely, the mansion is incredibly hard to find in the thick forest. In fact, some say that the mansion is unreachable at all, unless the residents desire it.

After the initial wonder of seeing the magnificent feat of engineering wore off, an onlooker would notice that something is not quite right. There simply are not enough windows for such a large building. There are only a small, countable number, and some halls don't have any windows at all. The windows that do exist are either stained scarlet or sealed shut. Very little sunlight can enter this mansion, which must force it to use artificial lighting. The reason for this seemingly strange construction lies with the owner of the mansion, Remilia Scarlet.

Remilia Scarlet, the Scarlet Devil. At a glance she looks to be not more than a child, but perception can be deceiving. Her shoulder-length, purple hair gently swayed from a light breeze coming through one of the few windows. Through it, the pale rays of the moon illuminated her thick, pink frock and night-cap, and glistened upon the jeweled broach at her breast. She swirled the glass of blood-red wine in her hand, and licked some off her lips. When she smiled, she revealed two long canines, dripping red with the wine. She was the mistress of the night, and as she stared at the moon, its waves of scarlet shined upon her. Remilia Scarlet, the vampire of five hundred years, stood as the master of her mansion, the sixteenth-day moon shining behind her.

And I, Izayoi Sakuya, the loyal, perfect and elegant maid, stood dutifully as her eternal servant behind her. My azure and white maid's uniform, kept pristine and ironed, radiated in the light of the moon. My light gray hair was short, braided twice down the front, with a frilled headdress running through it. Such is proper for a maid, after all. I stood tall, more than a head above my mistress, with my hands down on my lap, silently awaiting orders. I am the personal maid of Mistress Remilia Scarlet. I am the manipulator of time and space, the maid and the pocket watch of blood, the only human serving in a house of devils.

We stood in the throne room of my mistress's mansion, the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The mansion so named because of its owner, the Scarlet Devil herself. The mansion was one of the largest structures in Gensokyo, and certainly the most ornate. Red velvet tapestries lined the walls, gold insignias embroidered into it, and the carpets were much the same. Valuable pieces of art was found either hanging on the wall or atop a pedestal at regular intervals, and the number of rooms was uncountable. And my favorite structure, the clock tower, tirelessly ticking away above all of us.

"Hey Sakuya," my mistress said to me. Remilia Scarlet sat down on her throne, still swirling her glass of wine. It was five minutes after midnight, right in the middle of her day. As a vampire, Remilia tries to sleep during the sunny hours, and is awake during the night. The Scarlet Devil Mansion has become largely nocturnal to accommodate her, which makes it troubling for guests, who usually have to arrive in the early morning or evening to see the mistress. So, we rarely get visitors.

"Yes, Mistress?" I asked. I stood behind her, ever vigilant, my hands pressed down on my skirt awaiting orders. Although, the question she was going to ask was very predictable. In front of us was a strange phenomenon, that had appeared suddenly with no explanation. It was a large, blue sphere of some kind, that was silently hovering in the middle of the throne room.

"Sakuya, what is that?" She said. Ah, I see my deduction skills are at their finest. My first instinct is that this is some sort of prank, likely by the gap youkai. She has a tendency to cause these sort of things. However, it doesn't _look _like something of her creation. Her gaps tended to have eyes that eerily stared at you. But this was just a continuously blue blob in front of us now.

"I can only guess mistress, although..." I hesitated for a moment. This thing wasn't really intimidating, or frightening. It was just, sort of, there. Like it was waiting for something.

"I think it's waiting for something." I said. Remilia leaned to the side and rested her head on her arm.

"I wonder what it's waiting for." She asked rhetorically. We both waited for a minute, although nothing really changed. I suppose that this thing has managed to capture my master's interest for at least a small while, but if something doesn't change then she will grow bored of it. Was this possibly one of Patchouli's creations? Strange things happen all the time whenever she tries out a new magic spell or finds a new book, although she's generally good at keeping such things contained within the mansion's library.

A few more minutes went by, and I could swear the blue gap in front of us was getting impatient. It didn't _look _any different, or _act _any different, but there was an uneasiness about it now. Was it...was it trying to give off some sort of hostile intent?

"Hah, Sakuya, I think it doesn't like us." My mistress said suddenly. Of course she would be able to sense whatever the thing's intent was much better than I would. The fact I sensed anything at all just proves that Remilia has already deduced its true motives. I was curious, but it's not proper to interrupt to ask questions, so it'll have to wait until later.

I noticed my master shift her position a little bit. She stopped leaning, and had reversed the grip on her empty wineglass. Without warning, she hurled the glass at the blue blob. When it made contact, the glass vanished into it without a sound. The blue blob shivered slightly, but did not break apart.

"Ha ha ha, it didn't like that!" Remilia said while laughing. It was painfully obvious now, actually. The blob had started to wobble a bit more and lose its form. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but before I realized it, the object shot out at me.

The whole thing took less than one second. Despite being a time-manipulator, my reaction time is still that of a human. If I can't process what is happening and activate my ability, then I am just as useless as your average person. The strange entity had launched a large number of tendrils out at me which had twisted around my arms, legs and torso. Before I could react, I was yanked towards it. I didn't even get a glance of my mistress before everything went black. How embarrassing for a maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion to be attacked in such a manner.

…

In a completely separate part of the universe an indeterminable distance away from the Scarlet Devil Mansion, a man by the name of Professor Jean Colbert scratched the back of his neck. He was standing in the largest courtyard at the Tristain Academy of Magic, looking over his eager students. They were in their second year at the academy, and would finally be able to summon their familiars. This was a very important ritual, the Familiar Summoning Ritual, that all magicians went through at some point in their lives. A familiar was a magician's most trusted companion, who would follow them to hell and back with no complaint. It was the final bastion a magician could place their faith in, even if all else fails and the world crumbles beneath their feet. The one constant a magician could count on.

Jean Colbert was very anxious to see what kinds of familiars his students would summon. His top students, Kirche and Tabitha, would surely both summon something magnificent. Although he would never say that some familiars are better than others, especially to his students, it was common knowledge that more impressive familiars would garnish more fame for its master. But, Colbert knew that all of his students would do perfectly fine. Well, almost. There was one who was quite a mystery.

One such student by the name of Louise, who was not showing to be the most competent magic user in the world. In fact, he would have doubted she had any real magical talent whatsoever, if it wasn't for the magically-induced explosions she caused every day. Aside from that, there was no real evidence to support her actually being able to use magic. Colbert hoped, he truly did, that this day would be a new leaf for the young girl, and her familiar would gleam new insight to her strengths as a magician.

"Hey, professor," one of the students said. "Can we start?"

Of course, the students were anxious. They all knew the ritual already, it being fairly trivial, so all that was needed was Colbert's permission. He brought out his class roster, where he would record the summonings, and called out the top name on the list. And from there, the summoning ritual began.

It was a very entertaining ritual to watch, almost like a lottery or game show. The students called out the incantation, and then a mysterious creature would appear out of nowhere in a vast stream of light. Some were simple creatures, such as a frog from one little lady, and others were fantastic, such as a young man's evil eye. As Colbert had predicted, of course, his top students had summoned fittingly impressive familiars. Kirche, the fire mage, had summoned a large fire salamander. And Tabitha, the wind and water hybrid mage, summoned a true dragon. And not just any dragon, a very rare species at that. The students awed in its presence, but the ritual had to continue so Colbert quickly ushered her to the side to let the other students have their turn.

Finally, there was a single student left: Louise. Louise was not feeling so energetic like the other students. In her entire life, she had not been able to cast a spell. Not _once. _She had tried. She had put in more effort than any other student at the entire academy, and yet, when she brandished her wand in perfect coordination, uttered the incantations in a perfect accent, and put in the perfect amount of willpower, nothing happened except an explosion and a feeling of regret. It made her feel worthless, helpless, and while she had a vague hope that this ritual would somehow be different, it was not a strong feeling. After a thousand iterations of the same occurrence, one learns not to expect differently.

"Miss Valliere," Colbert said, "Finish us off, will you?"

Louise looked at him in surprise, lost in her own thoughts. "Y-Yes, professor!" She exclaimed, and jogged into the center of the ring of students, who had all taken quite a few steps back after they realized who had yet to summon their familiar.

"Uwahh, Louise the Zero is going to try..." One commenter said.

"Do you think we'll be safe from this distance?" said another.

Louise tried to put them out of her mind, and focus on the spell. This was the ritual that would summon her one true familiar, who would stick with her through thick and thin, through desert and snow. But, more importantly, their elemental affinities were usually obvious. Louise hoped that, even if the familiar wasn't _impressive, _it would at least serve as a hint to how Louise could improve her magic. And, if she summoned something at all, _anything, _it would at least validate her existence as a magician.

Louise mustered up all of her courage, and bellowed into the air, "_My servant that existed somewhere in this vast universe, my divine, beautiful, wise, perfect and elegant servant, heed my call, I wish from the very bottom of my heart, hear my guidance and appear!"_

The seconds felt like hours. The students had, in mock concern, ducked for cover, but nothing was happening. Not even an explosion.

So when the seconds turned to minutes, it felt like years were passing by to poor Louise. She was sure she had failed. It had already been two minutes, and absolutely no change had occurred. She wasn't a magician, she wasn't an aristocrat, she was just a failure. A loser. She couldn't even complete the most important ritual of her life. The minutes dragged on, and the students grew bored and left. And they laughed at her while they did it. "Louise the Zero, Louise the Zero," they cried, but Louise could hardly hear them. She slumped to her knees in dejection, and stared at the ground beneath her.

But the professor did not share her despair. She had certainly given up, but he knew better. While he had never had student quite as inept as Louise, he knew she had magic. And if you have magic, you can complete this ritual. Sure, it was taking a few minutes, but many summonings did. It was an entire regular occurrence, and certain summonings in the past had taken _days _to complete. So, Colbert did not look down on Louise and laugh, nor did he grow worried and afraid. He just waited. Waited for was about to come.

And then it went boom.

…..

When I regained my vision, I realized that I was very high up in the air. And more than that, the wind blowing by my face told me I was rapidly decreasing that high altitude with every passing second. I was facing upwards, so I twisted my body to get a look around below. I could see vast plains and farmland that stretched as far as I could see, the rolling hills dyed deep green and punctuated by a large forest spreading across the entire landscape. Far in the distance, there were mountains, and even further seemed to be a floating landmass, although I could not make it out clearly. The sights I saw were very troubling.

It was not the fall that troubled me, no, although I would have to reconcile that situation soon. What was troubling me was I could not identify any of the landmarks that I have come to recognize. The Youkai Mountain was nowhere to be seen, nor was the Forest of Magic. There was a forest, sure, but it was not nearly as deep and thick as the Forest of Magic is. No Sanzu River, no Garden of the Sun, and certainly not the Scarlet Devil Mansion. There was absolutely nothing I recognized, despite being so high up in the air. Wherever I was, it was not Gensokyo. And that was extremely troubling.

Before I had to time to really think further, I found myself getting very close to my eventual destination with increasing speed. I turned my gaze down to see my landing zone, and found myself looking at a castle of some sort. It was in the shape of a pentagon, with a wall connecting each of the five towers on the edge. In the center was an incredibly tall and thick keep, with four hallways connecting it to four of the five outer towers. As I got even closer, I saw a thick cloud of smoke that I was going to land directly into.

Gravity prevented my thinking any more than that, and was doing its best to make me go splat onto the ground. Of course, gravity is nothing but a fickle nuisance for someone who can manipulate time and space. Patchouli, the resident magician and bookworm at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, had often come to me with discoveries in her research on my ability. When she had claimed one such book proved _gravity_ was nothing more than a function of space and time, I immediately experimented to see if I could use that fact to fly. After more studying than I would like to admit and a lot of failed attempts, it worked. Those were my early days though. I am _much_ more experienced now.

And so, when I finally impacted the ground, it was no harder than if I had hopped into the air. Of course, there was still a thick smoke surrounding me, so I could not see anything. Using my ability on a gas was usually tricky, so I waited until it naturally dissipated.

When I regained my vision, I saw a small collection of people staring at me. There were others as well, off in the distance, who had turned their heads. Most of them wore simple white, collared shirts with either black pants or a pleated skirt, and a black cloak strapped around their shoulders. There were a few people wearing brown cloaks, a few wearing purple cloaks, and one older man who wore completely blue robes, but the scheme seemed the same. Some sort of uniform? Was I summoned by some sort of...cult?

The cult member closest to me started speaking, although it was in a language I could not understand. She was short, barely taller than my mistress, and had a small build to match. Her body was underdeveloped, but she seemed to be older than a mere child. A teenager, perhaps? Her most striking feature was long, thick, bubble-gum pink hair, and innocently large, matching pink eyes. Those eyes stared at me in what was almost certainly disgust and hatred, which is a look I am very used to. However, I don't think I've quite warranted it _yet. _It's been less than sixty seconds since I came here, how much hatred could I possibly have generated in that short amount of time? I didn't even say anything.

The pink one kept speaking, so I gestured to my ears and then shrugged to indicate I have no idea what she was saying. She seemed to get it, and turned over to the blue-robed man and spoke to him instead. They conversed for a bit, while I just stood here. It was funny, in Gensokyo, everyone spoke the same language. I did not think anything of it until just now, but that has to be more than coincidence. Would that be Yukari's doing?

After conversing with the blue-robed man, the little pink girl turned back to me, and slowly stepped forward towards me. I did not really understand what she was trying to do, but she seemed very nervous about something. When she finally got right in front of me, she realized just how large the height difference was. I was a solid head taller than her, and she had to stretch her neck back to look up at me. She then turned back to the man, who nodded, and turned back to me. I really had no idea what was going on.

Then she kissed me. It was just on the cheek, but it surprised me nonetheless. Whatever is happening is completely confusing, I have no clue what-

Pain. A tremendous pain shot into the back of my left hand, and I collapsed to my knees. I grasped my left hand with my right, for all the good it would do, and tried to bear through it. I had been through worse pain than this. AAARRGGG. It really hurts. It really really hurts. I feel like my hand is about to fall off, to be burned to ashes. It really hurts. But, I've been through worse.

And as quickly as it started, it stopped. I immediately checked the back of my hand, and found some strange symbols carved into it. They glowed white, and I rubbed over them with my right palm. The pain had completely subsided, and it wasn't even sore. That wasn't natural pain, that _had _to be some sort of magic. Offensive magic.

I shot back up to my feet, whipped a knife out from my thigh belt, and pointed it at the little pink girl's face. She froze in terror.

"What did you do?" I demanded. The words escaped my mouth before I realized they wouldn't understand them.

"Uwah~! I-It was just the binding ritual!" The little pink girl said clearly. That's funny. Did they perhaps speak English after all, or was it something to do with the magic?

"Explain yourself, what is this binding ritual?" I said. She hesitated as she stared down the pointy end of my knife.

"I-I summoned you...as my familiar..." she said.

A familiar? I am familiar with the concept, we have one in our very own mansion after all. And it's a pretty common ritual to use in Gensokyo; even our familiars have familiars. That by no means I had any desire to become one though, unless it was my mistress's desire. But, in this instance, that clearly was not the case.

"Well un-summon me, then. I have no desire to be a familiar to the likes of you."

"It doesn't work that way, you stupid plebeian!" The girl shouted in anger. Before I could respond, the blue-robed man had approached closer to us.

"Now, now, we can discuss things without resorting to violence." He said. "Can we, er, put down our weapons and go talk?"

I had no interest in exchanging pleasantries with humans, but I suppose it was necessary in this instance. I am in an unknown land with unknown people. A proper maid, when separated from her master, must do everything in her power to return as quickly as possible. Extracting information out of these people seems to be the fastest way, and so I lowered my knife. They breathed sighs of relief.

The older figure and the young girl led me to a small, outdoor cafe. There were a few simple tables and chairs set out next to a kitchen that was being run by a few maids. It was comforting to see a familiar sight, although the tea that we had been served was vastly inadequate. But there were more pressing matters to deal with at the moment.

"Well, er, my name is Professor Colbert, and this is Louise de la Valliere. What is your name?"

"Izayoi Sakuya, chief maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion and personal maid to Mistress Remilia Scarlet herself." I said the line I had said many times before, but if the looks of confusion on their faces were any evidence, they did not know who my mistress was.

"Izayoosakkya? What kind of name is that?" The girl named Louise said rudely.

"I-za-yo-i Sa-ku-ya." I said slower. "Izayoi is the family name, Sakuya is the given." I explained, although it was a bit of a falsehood. In reality, both of these names were given to me by Remilia. There was no Izayoi family in Gensokyo. But, it is my true name, and anyone who says differently can go die.

Louise repeated the name to herself a few times until she got it, and Colbert seemed to have internalized it easily enough. "Miss Izayoi, then, allow me to explain the circumstances. If you are not aware, magicians go through a bit of a coming-of-age ritual where they summon familiars. It is a ritual that all students go through, and the results are completely random. I assure you, we had no intent of stealing you away from your homeland, the magic is simply out of our hands."

"So, you're fine with snatching away people from their homes at random?"

Colbert looked hurt. "Well, to be honest, humans are rarely summoned. In fact, one hasn't been summoned in a very, very long time. It's usually just animals."

This caused Louise to sigh heavily. "Jeez, why did I have to be the one person in a thousand years to summon a plebeian for a familiar."

"Yes, well, I am sure that you people are completely fine with enslaving sentient creatures and all that, but I don't care for it. All I need from you is to send me back home, or at least tell me the way." I said with no lack of disgust in my voice. The residents of Gensokyo usually summoned _willing _familiars, that they knew previously. Our own "little devil" in the mansion was roaming around the library for years before Patchouli finally familiarized her. It wasn't some sort of universal lotto of servitude.

"Y-you dare to speak that way to a noble?" Louise shouted. "Familiars should be honored to serve us nobles!"

"You can all die for all I care. Why do you deserve my respect?" I said.

"Y-You!" She said, getting agitated. Colbert tried to calm her down.

"Now, now, let's keep it civil. Miss Izayoi, where _are _you from?"

"Gensokyo."

"I'm sorry, I do not know where that is."

I proceeded to describe Gensokyo to the best of my ability. The more I described it, the more interested the professor seemed to be. As I described the more spectacular areas, such as the Sanzu River and Hakugyokuro, he stared at me with disbelief. Then his expression changed to worry, then to wonder, then to one of guilt and apology before he finally began speaking.

"I...I don't think that place exists here." He said ominously. "Miss Izayoi...I think you're from another world."

Louise gasped, but I did not react in any visible way. It was not an absurd thought, there were three "worlds" that I knew of. Earth, the moon, and Gensokyo. World-hopping was not an unfamiliar concept, although it was not something I was capable of doing on my own. However, there was very little magic on Earth, certainly not enough to support a magic cabal and familiar summonings like this. And we definitely, _definitely _were not on the moon. And we weren't in Gensokyo either, so...

Where the hell am I?

Before I could ask, we were interrupted by a large, red-headed woman. She was very tall, taller than me even, and walked with a strong stride. Her white, collared shirt had its top two buttons undone, partially revealing her enormous bust. It was a very clear, deliberate intention to show off her assets, and although I would never admit it, it angered me greatly.

"Haha, Louise. Getting scolded for trying to pass off a commoner as your familiar?" The woman said.

"No I'm not, Kirche!" Louise protested loudly. "Who would want a stupid plebeian as a familiar anyways?"

"Sure, sure, Louise the Zero~" Kirche said, and strode off. Behind her trailed a very short, petite blue-haired girl. She stayed completely silent and did not look up at us as she shuffled past, her head buried in a book. I watched with passing interest as they left, before Colbert shook my attention back to the conversation.

"Miss Izayoi, I can do my best to help you get back, but I don't know how effective it will be."

"You have the magical power to drag me here, but not send me back? What kind of broken system is in place to allow that sort of thing?" I said.

Colbert looked embarrassed, and fumbled around a bit before deflecting the question.

"Anyways, you're my familiar now." Louise declared. "Those runes on your hand prove it, so your new home is here."

"I refuse." I said immediately, and crossed my arms.

"What?" Louise said, startled. "You can't refuse."

"Yes I can. I refuse to serve you."

"But you're a _maid! _It's your job to serve, and now that you are my familiar, it's your job to serve me. You stupid plebeian, can't you even understand that much?"

I am really getting tired of this "stupid plebeian" nonsense. Humans hate me, I get that. I even _understand _why they hate me, it's not terribly hard to grasp the reasons. But I know those reasons are not present right now. So, is this girl just angry in general, or just a complete idiot?

"I have no such purpose to serve _you. _My master is Remilia Scarlet. I am hers, until the end of my days, and to serve any other is a breach of my loyalty. If you want me as your familiar, you will have to talk to _her _about it. I do not have the power to make that sort of decision, even if I actually wanted to."

"Eh?" Louise said, confused. "But..."

"I hate to bring this up, Miss Izayoi," Colbert said, "but the ritual has already taken place. This is not a discussion on whether or not to become her familiar. You _are _her familiar, the runes on your hand prove it."

That's...troublesome. I looked down at my hand. The runes were indeed there. The truth is inescapable, I have been turned into a familiar. What am I supposed to do in this type of situation? Remilia never discussed anything like this with me. A proper maid must always serve her master, but if she's magically bound to another, then...arg, I really should have listened to Patchouli's ramblings more.

I looked over at the courtyard, at the unfamiliar buildings and walls, and the strange sky above. This place was not my home, and was not anywhere near my home. I could walk for a thousand miles and I bet I wouldn't reach Gensokyo. Ten thousand, even. There was nothing I could do to get back, even with my ability. I may be able to manipulate time and space, but if I don't know where I am supposed to manipulate, I can't exactly use it as some sort of all-purpose teleport tool. I was stuck. Stranded. I really had no choice but to...to just...wait. Remilia would come looking for me, right? She has to.

She's selfish, after all. How could she not get angry when one of her belongings gets stolen?

"...very well." I resigned. Louise looked much too smug for my tastes, but Colbert just looked relieved.

"But, I would caution you to be careful." I said slowly.

"And why is that, _plebeian?_"Louise said, putting a heavy emphasis on that last word. I smiled to myself.

"Because my mistress will not take kindly to having her maid so openly stolen from her. She's not the kind of person to forgive that sort of thing. Heads have rolled because of it, in the past."

"Hmph." Louise said, unaffected. "What would you know about the politics of us aristocrats?"

I didn't respond, but that viewpoint will not work kindly in this girl's favor, when she meets the Scarlet Devil. I don't think she quite understands who she is going to deal with, but I won't spoil the surprise.

…..

Evening had come, and I stared out at the horizon as the sun set below, and the sunset faded into a black, starry sky. I was in Miss Louise's dormitory at the academy, which was located in one of the towers on the edge of the wall. The purpose of the wall seemed useless to me, if the students slept outside of it anyways, but Miss Louise had explained that it wasn't a fortress and the walls were simply a stylistic choice. As such, I stared out the window as the moon rose while my new master cleansed herself in her private bathroom. The moon was large, very large, and gave off a vibrant blue hue. It was captivating. I had never seen the moon look quite like this.

Then the other moon rose. I could not believe my eyes as a smaller, red moon rose above the horizon, shortly after the first. It was not as bright or brilliant as the blue one, but it was making its presence known all the same in a different, subtler way. If there was any doubt in my mind I wasn't in Gensokyo, this had squashed it.

Miss Louise emerged from her bath, wearing a towel around her hip and another draped over her shoulders. I approached her, and began to dry her off. I had no choice but to accept this fake master for the time being, and if I was going to serve, I would never disgrace the position of maid by doing it halfheartedly. So I knelt down, and dried her entire body. Then I retrieved her pajamas from her closet, and dressed her. She seemed used to this sort of treatment, so there was no awkwardness.

"Sakuya, I will be going to bed now."

"Of course, Miss Louise."

"You may sleep over there, on the floor."

"Of course, Miss Louise."

"You may go get food from the servant's quarters if you get hungry."

"Of course, Miss Louise."

And with that, Miss Louise climbed into her queen-sized bed, threw the drapes around it, and went to sleep. I snuffed out the candle on the wall, and the room went dark. And so ended my first day on this strange new world.


	2. Estimation Errors

_Gray Morality  
_

**Chapter 2  
Estimation Errors**

Remilia Scarlet watched as the mysterious blue blob wobbled, then sprouted tentacles. The tentacles shot out at her personal maid, wrapping around her legs, arms and torso. In less than a single second, the blue sphere pulled Sakuya into it, and promptly vanished from existence. It had been so fast, that it took Remilia a beat to comprehend what had just happened.

"Ah ha ha ha ha!" She started to laugh uncontrollably. "Oh wow, that was-!"

Her lighthearted and fun laugh continued a bit, before she wiped away her tears and calmed herself down. As she leaned back in her throne, a malicious grin appeared on her face, and she bared her fangs.

_It looks like something fun is finally happening around here, _she thought. Days at the Scarlet Devil Mansion tended to be excessively dull unless Remilia instigated some incident herself, so she loved it when things happened to her like this. Especially when they were as amusing as what she had just witnessed. Of course, snatching away the personal property of the Scarlet Devil is something only a fool would attempt. Remilia rubbed her hands together like an evil villain, as her dear friend Patchouli walked into the throne room.

Patchouli Knowledge, the unmoving great library. This woman was a magician who has lived for over a hundred years, yet keeps the appearance of one in her twenties. Her cap, complemented with a moon-shaped hair-clip, sat atop her long, silky hair that reached down to her waist. Her purple hair, purple cap and her striped, purple robes set a remarkable tone for this woman, and gave off a feeling of immense arcane power. And she has the strength to back it up, on her better days. Although, between her asthma and general physical weakness, Patchouli rarely did more than sit in her library.

Remilia let Patchouli live in the mansion, and manage the vast library that the mansion contains. They were dear friends, although the details are unknown to anyone but themselves of how it came to be. Even though it wasn't rare for Patchouli to wander around the interior of the mansion, it was still unusual whenever she left the confines of the library. When Remilia welcomed her, she asked,

"Remi, what happened to Sakuya?"

"Ah, quick on the uptake, aren't you Patche?" Remilia said. "How did you figure it out? She's only been gone a minute or two."

"The library attempted to revert to its real size." Patchouli said. "I have space-altering magic as a backup to protect the books, but they wouldn't have triggered if Sakuya was still within a hundred miles. The rest of the mansion is back to its original size."

The Scarlet Devil Mansion was very large on the outside alone, but it was even bigger on the inside. The resident time manipulator increased the amount of space of the hallways and rooms, which served no real purpose other than to add even more complexity and confusion. It was incredibly easy to get lost, if you were not careful.

"Is that so? Well, something took her away, I'm not sure what. Or where. Or why." Remilia said, and then chuckled to herself. "But I have a vested interest in answering those questions. So, Patche. How many spells do you know that can be used to locate someone?"

Patchouli gave a rare smirk, breaking her otherwise very controlled expression.

"Hundreds."

…..

I looked at Miss Louise's sleeping face. I have to admit, she was rather cute. Not nearly as cute as my precious Remilia, of course, but still cute nonetheless. She had told me, before she went to bed, that I could find food in the servant's quarters. I had not eaten anything all day, so I was starving. But before I went to go find food, I made sure to go over every inch of Miss Louise's room. A proper maid must know the whereabouts of every item her master possesses, and then some. I also had to take care of her laundry, clean and dust her room, organize her things, figure out how I will prepare her meals...there were quite a lot of things on the list. But I had all the time I could ever need, so I decided to go eat first.

The academy grounds were split up into five exterior towers, with a large, central keep. The student dorms were in the exterior towers, while the central keep housed the classrooms, administrative facilities, servant's quarters, kitchens, and the principal's office at the top. There were a couple of exterior buildings as well, like an outdoor cafe and gardening shed. I headed into the servant's quarters to figure out how they took their meals, so I could assimilate accordingly.

The servant quarters were clearly of less class than the student's dorms, in an extremely obvious way. The hallway was very narrow, and through a few open doors I could see that there were three maids to a single room. There were no names, numbers or even locks on the doors. Whoever had constructed this area was being extremely cost effective. I stopped by one of the open doors, and peeked my head in to see a single girl drafting a letter.

"Excuse me." I said. The girl, who was in her pajamas, turned around as she put down her quill.

"Yes?" She said simply, in a soft voice.

"Where can I find something to eat?" I asked. She turned her head in confusion.

"Are you new, or something?" She asked me back. "That uniform you're wearing isn't the academy's maid uniform..."

"I was summoned to be the familiar of Miss Louise, and for all intents and purposes I am her personal maid. She told me to come here for food, and here I am."

"Really? Is that so...Well, the maids here all eat the leftovers from the students' meals. You can find some in the kitchen."

Leftovers? How could they have enough leftovers to feed the entire servant force? A proper maid should know exactly how much food she needs to cook to satisfy her master, there should be no such things as leftovers. And I am expected to eat such a thing? I am a perfect and elegant maid, I don't need to bother eating leftovers with my skill.

"I have no desire to eat that. Just tell me where to find ingredients, I will cook my own meal."

"Eh..? But the ingredients for the students' meals are so much better than the ingredients for ours..."

Ah, now I understand. They cook excessively so that they can eat higher quality food, instead of being handed mediocre meals with mediocre ingredients. The master-servant arrangement is a two-way street, after all. If you treat your master well, they are expected to treat you well in return. However, being allocated low quality food and low quality rooming is a symptom of a master not treating their servants well. It bothers me a bit, to see a defective maid force like this.

"I am not a maid of this academy, so your rules do not apply to me. I see no reason why I cannot use the highest quality ingredients to cook my own meals, my master has not told me otherwise. So take me to them."

The girl look flustered, but then got up from her chair and shuffled over to me. She gestured for me to follow, and led me down the narrow hallway. It terminated at a wooden door, which opened into a very large kitchen. If I am getting my spacial reasoning correct, we are just adjacent to the dining commons. It was completely deserted, except now for me and this off-duty maid who led me here.

"The ingredients are, er, over there." She pointed meekly to a cupboard on the opposite wall and an adjacent refrigerator. I walked over, and opened them up. The cupboard held a wide variety of fresh fruit and vegetables, as well as spices and various sauces. There was even an entire section for tea leaves and other herbs. The refrigerator held a large amount of cut and uncut meat, various juices, milk, and other dairy products. I was impressed by the amount and quality of the food, but the organization was a bit lax. I grabbed some of the cut meat, potatoes, carrots, and a couple other ingredients necessary to cook a simple meat stew.

I looked around, and saw that the girl was still standing there watching me.

"Do you have a wine cellar?" I asked. She looked surprised, and pointed to a latch on the ground. I pulled it upwards, and a trap door raised from the floor. A wooden staircase led down into a large basement. Inside were racks and racks of wine, ranging in age. None of the brands were known to me, however, so I just picked one that looked normal. Nothing that looked too old, although I couldn't read the dates so it was basically just wild guessing.

I came back out from the cellar, and began to prepare my meal. The girl looked over at me working, and I glanced at her occasionally. She was wide-eyed, although I couldn't understand why. She was happy to clarify, though.

"Wow, you're so good!"

Of course I am good, I am a perfect and elegant maid. My cooking is impeccable. I finished cooking the stew while the girl kept looking over intently, trying to figure out exactly what I was doing. Since she was staring at me, I couldn't exactly use my ability to expedite the process. Revealing I can manipulate time has...not worked well for me in the past. So, I finished the dish in a completely regular amount of time, grabbed two bowls from the cupboard and served myself and the girl.

"Ah, er, thank you," she said, and took the bowl. She set it down on a nearby table, and I joined her. I began eating, and watched her as she took a spoon full and fed it into her mouth. She chewed it for a bit, and then swallowed.

"This is amazing!" She exclaimed. "How did you make this? The meals we prepare are not half this good."

"A maid should be able to do at least this much."

"Well, I'm a maid, but I can't make _this. _I thought I was a good cook, too..."

I took a few bites before I replied. "The maids at this academy are pathetic. I was at the outdoor cafe earlier today, and the tea I was served was disgusting. It was seeped too long, and at the completely wrong temperature. The server didn't know what she was doing, and seemed more concerned with how she looked than actually serving her guests. And her shuffling around from table to table was hard to look at. Maids to not shuffle, they glide. It was a sorry sight to see, your manager must be horrible at their job."

"We don't have one," the girl said quickly, probably in an attempt to stop my tirade. That answers why they are so incapable though. This maid force really has no chief, no manager?

"Then who is in charge?" I asked.

"The headmaster just hires us, and tells us to serve the students. He only hires women with large breasts and the uniforms are apparently custom made, and he makes no effort to manage us whatsoever."

What a dysfunctional relationship. What, is the principal some sort of perverted old man? Seeing a maid force like this definitely rubs me the wrong way. It's an affront to my career, my entire being. Maids must be perfect, elegant, and flawless. They must cook delicious meals, clean exceptionally, and serve unconditionally. The academy's maid force is just short of a prostitution ring, going by the hiring criteria. I can't let this stand. So I stood up from the table.

"What is your name?" I asked. She was caught off guard and dropped her spoon into her stew.

"S-Siesta."

"Well then, Siesta, I will be taking over this so called maid force of yours. Your current situation offends me, so I, Izayoi Sakuya, intend to do something about it."

"...what? What are you going to do?"

"I am going to become the new chief maid of the Tristain Academy, of course." I declared. "And your training will start tonight."

"What?"

…..

It was a long night for the maid staff of the Tristain Academy. They had been confused when I announced I was their new maid chief, and then extremely displeased when I told them to put their uniforms back on and meet me outside for training. A few of them protested, but after some light corporeal punishment they fell in line. I had to go easy on them since they were human, but a few punches and head-knocking should be completely fine.

I trained them in some basic mannerisms that a maid has to have. How to properly walk and maneuver around a room was the first lesson. Lessons on where and how to stand in relation to their master was also a part of the lesson, as these maids really were completely clueless. I kept them up well into the night, before finally releasing them back to their rooms. I, on the other hand, need to find a place to sleep.

Miss Louise had told me I could sleep on the floor, but that isn't really something I plan on doing. Instead, I decided to find an empty bed in the maid dorms. The staff wasn't maxed out so there were a few empty cots. Of course, I didn't need to ask permission or anything. I am a time manipulator, and one of the core aspects of my ability is to stop time completely. It's my World of Gray, the world of stopped time. In it I am completely alone. Everything is frozen in place, and I am completely safe. It used to be the one refuge I had, until I met Mistress Remilia. While this ability opens the doors for truly amazing feats, I prefer to use it for more trivial things. Such as getting a full night's rest in a few seconds of real-world time. The maids didn't even realize I invaded the privacy of their room.

After I woke up from my rest, I took care of the various tasks I needed to complete for Miss Louise. Doing her laundry, ironing her clothes, organizing her room, and cleaning every inch. Never let it be said that the chief maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion is poor at her job. There were even a few imperfections in Miss Louise's school uniform that I repaired, as a proper maid should. The sun started to rise about the time I completed my tasks (no reason to stop time if I would just be killing it later), which meant it was about time to wake Miss Louise from her rest.

Waking someone from their sleep is not trivial. Doing it properly, in any case. There are a lot of factors that need to be considered, and it differs from person to person. Although the average amount of sleep people need is seven or eight hours, the exact amount varies. Plus, it is necessary to adjust for how much physical and mental exercise the sleeper had during the previous day, as well as the amount of sleep they have gotten previous nights. This is putting aside their own preferences on how to be woken up, how effective they will be, and how to prevent them from rolling over and going back to bed. Since this is my first night with Miss Louise, I have absolutely none of this information.

So I went with an old classic and threw open the curtains, shining bright sunlight onto Miss Louise's sleeping face.

"Good morning. Rise and shine Miss Louise." I said a bit loudly. She grumbled in response, then shifted around a bit, then sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"Huh...?" She said.

"Good morning, Miss Louise. Breakfast will be ready in thirty-five minutes. I have drawn you a bath in your washroom, and prepared your uniform for today. If there is any other assistance you require, please ask."

"W..What..?" She said, still a bit groggy.

"I am your maid, remember?"

"Eh? Ah..right...good job, commoner..." She said, coming to her senses and putting on an air of arrogance that she referred to as "nobility." I simply stood out of the way as she made her way to the bathroom, and took her bath. A maid needs to know when she is needed and wanted, and when she is not. After sixteen minutes, Miss Louise emerged with a towel wrapped around her, drying herself off.

"Miss Louise, please allow me to dress you." I said, and brought over her uniform. She nodded, and I began to help her with her clothes. White, modest underwear followed by a collared shirt, then a short, black pleated skirt around her waist, with knee socks and shoes. Lastly, I draped her black mantle over her shoulders and fastened it with her golden broach, engraved with a five-point star. I carefully brought her wand over as if it were a dangerous artifact, and held it out for her to grasp. And thus the procedure was complete. She took the wand with grace.

"Did you do something to my clothes?" She asked.

"Yes, Miss Louise. I washed, dried, and then ironed them. There were several imperfections that I repaired as well. Three tears and five stains. I did your other laundry as well, and placed them in your wardrobe."

Miss Louise had a shocked look on her face, as if she was expecting a lesser amount of service. How foolish of her to underestimate the chief maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. I am perfect and elegant. This much is a minimum requirement of proper service. I just gave her the standard smile in response.

Miss Louise huffed, and then walked out the door. I followed her down to the dining commons, although it was really more of a multipurpose room. It was large, enough to accommodate most of the academy students at once. Miss Louise looked around for a few seconds before choosing a seat that was a few meters away from the other students. Was she shy, or something? Regardless, I pulled the seat out for her and helped her into it.

"I will bring you breakfast shortly, Miss Louise." I said, and then retreated into the kitchen. Before I entered, a maid emerged carrying a tray of what she thought was passable for food. When she saw me, she recoiled. She then straightened up, rebalanced her platter and tried to walk with more grace than before. My my, ignoring the lessons until the boss enters the room? I'll have to punish that one later. But for now, I had to cook Miss Louise's breakfast, so I entered the adjacent kitchen.

There were seven maids cooking, including Siesta, although after looking at the food I decided it was far below acceptable standards to serve to Miss Louise. The other students could eat this garbage, but not _my _master. Even if it was a bit of a fake relationship, I had a reputation to uphold. The maids were cooking up a large amount of scrambled eggs, sausages and toast and serving it with fresh fruit. Honestly the only thing they were not doing _completely_ wrong was the fruit, but even that was being cut improperly. I decided to just ignore them completely and cook an omelet.

After no more than four minutes, I had prepared a cheese and ham omelet, with a small fruit salad on the side and a glass of orange juice. A simple breakfast, to be sure, but it is better to serve comforting meals in the morning rather than extravagant ones. A couple maids turned their heads when they saw what I was doing, realizing I made a much higher quality dish than they were making with the same ingredients. Perhaps they will respect me a bit more after this. I placed the meal on a tray and brought it back out to the kitchen. When I emerged I saw that Miss Louise had been joined by two others. It was the red-haired busty girl from yesterday, whom Miss Louise had called Kirche. The other was the short, blue-haired girl whose name I did not know. She had her nose buried in a book, only moving to stab something with her fork and bring it to her mouth. Kirche, on the other hand, was chatting plenty.

"Aww, come on Zero Louise, why are you even here? You should just go back home~"

"Shut up, Kirche. She's my familiar!" Miss Louise said angrily in response.

"Please, everyone knows it's fake. Just admit it~" Kirche said obnoxiously. I took this as a cue to move in.

"Excuse me for interrupting," I interrupted, "but here is your breakfast Miss Louise." I placed the meal in front of her, and was very satisfied when it raised the eyebrows of both Miss Louise and Kirche. The third girl on the other hand didn't even pretend to pay attention. But my meal was of _clearly _higher quality than the food Kirche was eating, just from looks alone. It has the taste to back it up, of course, otherwise I wouldn't be worthy as a maid. I must admit, I derive a large amount of pleasure from showing off my ability as a maid. Of course, it would not be proper to voice this pleasure, so instead I simply must keep it softly to myself.

"Eh? Why does yours look so much better than mine?" Kirche asked, and Miss Louise just turned her head towards me. I smiled.

"I cooked it personally for Miss Louise, of course. I could not allow her to be fed the garbage that passes for food around here, so I had to intervene. I hope you find it to your liking, Miss Louise."

My little master turned back to her food, sliced off a portion of the omelet and ate it. "Uwah! This is really good!" She exclaimed loudly, although no one paid any mind. It was pretty loud in the commons from the chatter of the other students.

"I am glad you approve, and you should never expect any less from me, Miss Louise." I said with a bit of arrogance of my own, and then stepped back and held the empty platter vertically in front of me, crossing my lap. One of the standard maid poses, when we are idle. Miss Louise dug into her food, while Kirche looked on with envy. I guess that shut her up a bit.

"Sakuya," Miss Louise said, "You may go play with the other familiars outside." I noticed, after she commanded me so, that none of the other students had brought their familiars inside the building. I suppose she was still trying to fit me into the category of "familiar" and so was treating me as such. Still, a maid obeys her orders, so I bowed and then took my leave.

I walked outside, but the other familiars really weren't my type. Although I suppose they would be better than conversing with humans, a lack of language is a hard barrier to overcome. Plus I'm not entirely sure any of them are sentient in the first place. Instead, I headed over to the outdoor cafe where I could supervise the maids. As I made my way over, I noticed a few students enjoying some morning tea. Breakfast isn't for everyone, and often simple tea and snacks were an acceptable substitute. I dropped off my platter in the cafe's kitchen, and began to brew some new tea. I didn't even have to taste the previous batch to know that it was completely inadequate.

Although the selection of tea leaves in the cupboard is somewhat familiar, there are a lot of leaves I have never heard of. I'll have to make sure to grab some for Remilia. I picked something I knew how to brew properly, and finished it up perfectly. There was a young couple waiting out on a bench, so I made a quick plate of crackers and cookies to bring out with the tea. I walked over, holding the tea and snacks in one hand like a waitress, before serving it to them.

"Bah, the servants today seem so lazy." The male student said. He had short, blonde hair and wore a frilled shirt. His outfit looked to still be within the bounds of the school uniform, but much more ornate and detailed. Showy, if I had to describe it in a single word. In contrast, the girl sitting across from him had the standard, plain uniform on, but her hair was extravagant. It was also blonde, but even longer and larger than Miss Louise's and done into curls. These two certainly gave off a certain air about them.

"Mmm..." His female companion did not respond, but instead just accepted the tea I served her and began drinking.

"Really, they should be much more energetic when serving us aristocrats." The man said again while looking at me. "You seem to be in good form though. Aren't you that commoner that Louise hired?"

"Correct, I am Miss Louise's familiar, although there was no exchange of currency so 'hired' is not the appropriate phrasing." I said.

"Ha, familiar, huh?" He said. "Come on, you can tell us. Everyone already knows she just grabbed some plebeian to pretend to be her familiar when she failed the ritual. This charade is just pathetic."

"Are you making fun of Miss Louise?" I asked, and put on one of those menacing smiles. It's a maid's duty to defend her master, whether it's from physical attacks or verbal ones. "I may take offense to you making fun of my master in such a hateful way."

The man scoffed. "Your opinion does not matter, you are a commoner. As expected of Louise the Zero, to summon someone who doesn't even know their place."

"You are an ungrateful whelp who doesn't deserve to lick the bottom of Miss Louise's boots." I said. "Instead of acting like you own the world, why don't you go ahead and just die? Your existence will only have any worth if you let me slice you up with my knives and serve you on a platter for Miss Louise's dinner."

The boy and his girlfriend both choked on the tea they were drinking, and I kept my smile of evil intent on my face. I have no duty to be subservient to _these _people. I only agreed to be nice to Miss Louise, in exchange for receiving help returning to Gensokyo. And while I can disguise it as defending Miss Louise's honor, really it's just fun to insult people.

The man rose to his feet in anger. "I am Guiche de Gramont the Brass, an aristocrat! I will not be made fun of by some _peasant." _As he shouted, the heads of all the cafe patrons turned their heads, including the maids serving said patrons.

"Well, I wouldn't consider myself a _peasant, _but you are indeed being insulted. And name-dropping your own name is so unbecoming, Mr. Whoever-you-are."

"Y-You dare to still insult me?"

"Does a little verbal spar really offend you so? If you really do lick Miss Louise's boots, perhaps I'll go easy on you."

Guiche's hands were shaking in anger, and he pointed at me accusingly. "You cannot insult an aristocrat without repercussions," he shouted. "You have offended my honor, so I challenge you to a duel."

"I accept." I said automatically. In Gensokyo, those capable of carrying out a danmaku duel did so very often, so for a higher-class duelist like myself I had to accept any and all challenges. Although, in retrospect, I have no clue what the dueling system in this place is.

"Very well, commoner. It shall begin in one hour at the northwest clearing." Guiche said, and turned to walk away. His girlfriend looked flustered, but then jogged off behind him. The maids and students at the cafe all stared at me as if they just saw someone do something incredibly foolish. How absurd, I was only defending Miss Louise. And this boy claims himself a magician, but I live with a magician. This boy does not live up to Patchouli in any way, shape or form, and I can best her on her worse days. Patchouli's magical aura was like a tidal wave, engulfing the entire library in an overwhelming presence. This kid's aura was closer to a flickering candle that could be snuffed out by a strong breeze.

Hmmm. I wonder what Miss Louise will have to say about this.

…..

"You WHAT?"

"Like I said, I will be dueling Mr. Gramont in thirty-five minutes."

"You WHAT?"

"Like I said, I-"

"I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!"

"Then why did you..."

"Ugh!" Miss Louise grunted ungracefully. She put her face to her palm and started shaking her head. "Why, why, why in all the Founder's graces would you go and do something so _completely idiotic?" _

"He was insulting you, Miss Louise." I said. "I thought it was prudent to defend your honor, as a maid always protects her-"

"It doesn't matter! I don't even want to know!" Miss Louise yelled. She then grabbed my wrist and started dragging me by my hand, which I let her do. "Come on, if you apologize to him and beg for mercy then he might call it off..."

She wants to call off the duel? I understand she is upset that I caused a ruckus, but her honor was offended. If anyone had said such things about Remilia, she would demand I bring their heads to her on a spike. Was this Guiche person a friend of hers? Did I misread the situation? His words certainly seemed hateful, not the kind of playful banter that Marisa might throw around or the other pre-danmaku trash talking that goes on.

"Miss Louise, forgive me for creating a scene, but may I ask why you feel the need to apologize? Wouldn't that only shame you further?"

Miss Louise turned back to me, with a look of disgust on her face. "Don't you realize?" She yelled accusingly. "Guiche is a _mage, _and from a family of a long military history. You're a commoner, nothing but a common maid. You'll _die _if this duel is allowed!"

Ah, now it makes more sense. Miss Louise thought that continuing with the duel would be more embarrassing for her than simply getting on her knees and begging for forgiveness. But her reasoning is wrong, a sorry excuse for a maid I would be if I couldn't defend my master to this extent. I am certain I could best Guiche in a duel, although clearly Miss Louise doesn't share that certainty. All I am to her is a common maid. I'll have to change that perception, one way or another.

"Miss Louise, please do not worry. I have no intention of dying, nor will I lose. I am your maid, Miss Louise, you have to trust me to serve you. I promise not to shame you in front of your peers." I said. I decided to leave out the part how I _would _rather die than bow down to someone like Guiche.

"You stupid idiot!" She yelled again, and then proceeded to call me more names and claim such things such as how I'm so dimwitted it's a surprise I haven't fallen into a well and drowned. If I wasn't serving as her familiar, I would have killed her on the spot for saying such things and gone about my day.

"So..." I said.

"Fine, do what you want, see if I care." Miss Louise said frustratingly. "Maybe it'll knock some sense into you."

Ah, excellent. She seems to have come around. Sort of.

Miss Louise had stomped off somewhere, leaving me behind. I took out my pocket watch to see how much time was left before the duel. There was a good half hour, so I went back to the outdoor cafe to resume showing the maids how to do their jobs. The staff seemed surprised at my presence, and even more surprised when I casually continued about my business serving guests. They all stole glances at me and whispered out of earshot, so I guess word spreads quickly. Siesta had shown up, and looked at me like a dead man walking. Actually, a lot of people were looking at me like that.

I have been here less than twenty four hours, but I've started to grasp the noble-commoner relationship that seems to exist. Society is broken up into two classes of people, _aristocrats _and _plebeians. _The aristocrats are able to use magic, and the plebeians are not. Although the reason this is the way history played out is not hard to imagine, it still struck me as a bit odd. Most of the strongest beings in Gensokyo were not strictly spellcasters. They just had specific abilities. Yukari could manipulate borders, Satori could read minds, Yuuka can control plants. The list is endless, but it can't be called magic. Were there no strong youkai like that in this world? Or was "magic" just a catch all term?

So, would I be a magician in this world? I don't know any "magic" besides how to use my own ability to manipulate time, but it's something beyond the capabilities of the rest of the commoners here. Admittedly, if you remove the limiter imposed by the Spellcard Rules, my ability is arguably overpowered. Although not when you compare it to something like Remilia's ability to manipulate fate. I asked her once about what that really meant, and she said however broad I thought her ability was, I was underestimating her. She was probably just boasting though.

My thoughts were interrupted by two boys I was serving tea to. "Shouldn't you, err, get going?" One of them said to me. I pulled out my pocket watch, and saw I had about five minutes left before the duel. Five minutes is plenty of time for a perfect and elegant maid such as myself. I finished serving the tea, and then went about finding the clearing.

After, well, no time at all technically, I arrived at the clearing where Guiche was waiting. I made sure my little teleport was kept out of sight, although the secret will probably get revealed shortly. There was a large crowd circled around, and I saw Miss Louise mixed in with the rest of the spectators. I imagine this was a rare event for them, if it drew a crowd like this. The danmaku battles back in Gensokyo rarely drew crowds, so I'm not used to fighting in front of an audience. But, if I am fighting for Miss Louise's honor, then I guess the best way to go about the duel would be to show off. A quick assassination would not properly convey my strength.

When Guiche de Gramont saw me, he couldn't help but open his mouth. "Ah, looks like you decided to show up. At least you have guts, for a commoner." He said. I see my previous verbal assault had no effect.

"Of course, a maid is never late to an appointment." I said, and walked towards the center of the circle formed by the students. They parted to let me pass through, leaving just me and Guiche in the center. We had been given plenty of room, the spectators standing a good distance away.

"If you bow before me now, I'll think about forgiving you." He offered me a way to back out, but I had no intent of accepting it.

"That will not be necessary. I am ready to begin when you are." I said, and casually prompted him to draw his weapon while I took a more elegant stance than a battle-ready one. I put my feet together, crossing my legs and placing my arms behind my back. Even in battle a maid has to look elegant.

"HA!" He shouted, and slashed a rose in an arc in front of him. Seconds later, the ground lit up and two humanoid constructs emerged. They had the appearance of metal suits of armor, and were a head taller than me. A doll user, huh?

Before I had time to react, the two dolls charged me directly, pulling back their arms and getting ready to punch. When they got close, however, I leaped up and landed on top of the rightmost one's head, keeping my perfect posture. I had distorted the space a bit to accomplish this so elegantly, and then distorted it further to launch myself horizontally about ten yards to the right. I had gotten near the crowd, who backed off as soon as they noticed. Guiche seemed annoyed that I had shot off, and shouted something or other about me being a coward before ordering his dolls to charge me again.

Alice Margatroid had admonished me quite a bit back in Gensokyo about how I had fought against her. My natural assumption was that the puppeteer herself was weak, which is why she used dolls to defend herself. When I had focused my attacks on her directly and attempted to bypass the dolls, I always lost. Alice's explanation was that, "Any doll user worth their weight knows that attackers will target them first, and will know how to counter that strategy easily." My next tactic had been to sever the strings between her and the dolls, which I thought was a good idea. Alice had knocked that idea of mine down too, and said that it was very easy for a puppeteer to reform the connections, and severing them would only buy her half a second at most. It just wasn't worth the effort.

Alice's own weakness was that she cared too much for the safety of her dolls, but I don't think that will apply here. Guiche doesn't seem to be the doll liberation type, so I'll have to just overwhelm them.

The metal dolls charged me again, and both attempted to punch me at the same time. They were slow and inelegant, and I did not even need to slow time to twirl around and get behind them. I quickly drew one of my knives from my thigh belt into my right hand, and before the dolls could recover, I hit the left one in the back as hard as I could with the hilt. A loud "dong" resounded across the field, indicating that they were hollow. This will be easier than I thought. If they were solid metal, I would not be able to penetrate them with knives alone. However, hollow bodies will fall apart after significant enough damage. And I can cause significant enough damage.

The dolls had turned around towards me again, and I leaped back about ten feet. However, it was not a retreat. I crouched down and materialized four knives in each of my hands, between my fingers. In a quick motion, I launched them towards the two metal constructs. I then spun around, and repeated the action, firing a total of sixteen knives towards Guiche's two dolls. Normally, it would not matter how hard I threw them, it wouldn't pierce metal. However, I could use my ability to accelerate the knives mid-air to whatever speed I wished. This was trivial for me; I have been using this tactic my entire life.

The sixteen knives that had reached a velocity faster than a bullet tore through the metal like tissue paper. The force from the impact shattered the dolls in an ear-piercing crack, littering metal scraps across the field. I drew knife number seventeen, and pointed it towards Guiche's direction. The crowd gasped, and Guiche almost lost his footing in surprise. He was wide-eyed, but suddenly growled and slashed his rose again. This time, ten of the dolls emerged from the ground instead of two. I guess I angered him a bit, although ten is a bit much to handle at once.

With another wave of his rose, Guiche ordered the constructs to all rush me. But the numbers do not matter, I always have enough knives in my arsenal. I ran towards the mass of metal as they came towards me, but before we met I took a hard step and launched myself into the air. Using my ability, I flew twenty feet into the air and flipped myself upside-down. I twisted my body and spread my arms for flavor, although it served no mechanical purpose. I only used it to add a flair of elegance, as is proper of a battle maid. But from the observing students down below, that subtle movement seemed to generate fifty knives floating in mid-air above them. The knives filtered the sunlight, and a pattern of shadows dotted the ground around Guiche's dolls.

My ability allows me to fight in danmaku battles by manipulating the space around my knives to use as projectiles. I can control the knives' position and velocity in three dimensional space at my leisure. However, I still have to set them up, so the part the crowd did not see was me pulling fifty knives from my own artificial pocket dimension and tossing them around, fiddling with their positions in the sky until it looked just right. This took about ten minutes until I was satisfied, and resumed time.

I let the look of utter horror cross their faces before I let loose my barrage, accelerating all fifty knives towards the ten metal suits of armor. The knives shot down at blinding speed, and shredded the poor dolls before they could take any actions whatsoever. I then let myself fall to the ground, making a perfect (and elegant) landing amongst the rubble remains of the animated armor. Before Guiche could recover, I drew three more knives, spun around and launched them in his direction. I was unsure what sort of personal defenses he had, so they were simply to test the waters. At best he would dodge them, at worst they would be deflected back towards me.

So imagine my surprise when all three embedded themselves in his chest, hitting their marks perfectly. He was knocked off his feet, collapsing onto the ground. Was...was he really not defended? He should have set up at _least _a simple deflection spell of some kind after he saw my fighting style. Did his arrogance run so deep he thought he was untouchable?

_No, wait. It's a feint!_

I immediately drew six more knives and prepared to attack.

"STOP!" Someone shouted from the crowd. I turned, and saw Miss Louise crying. After taking note of my surroundings, I realized the students had begun to run towards Guiche shouting things like "go get help." The blonde girl who was sitting with him earlier was at his side, sobbing. Oops. I may have overestimated him a bit.

I sheathed the knives that I just drew back into their pocket dimension, and looked around until I found Miss Louise. She was troubled whether or not to run to help Guiche, or to run over to me, and so she was just sort of frozen in place. Guiche was surrounded by students already though, who were helping him get to the infirmary. So, I approached Miss Louise to quell her confusion. She didn't make any movements when I walked up to her, and instead just looked at the ground.

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss Louise. I seem to have overdone it." I said. "I truly did not believe those last three would hit him."

I saw Miss Louise's hands shaking, although she was clenching them in fists to stop it. In retrospect, I really had overestimated him. While it is better to overestimate than _underestimate, _sometimes you end up accidentally causing lethal damage. It's why in martial arts you ask your opponent's skill level before fighting: if you fight on a higher level than your opponent, someone can end up with a broken neck. The Scarlet Devil Mansion's gatekeeper taught me this, and I am ashamed I have forgotten it. Not that the Guiche boy didn't deserve it, though.

"Y-You..." Miss Louise said, stuttering. "You...how...when did..."

"I'm sorry, Miss Louise, I do not understand the question." I said, although I'm fairly certain I know exactly what she wanted to ask. I smiled to Miss Louise, although I do not think it comforted her much.

"How did you...do that? You can use magic...?" She finally asked. A very good question.

"It is simply something I can do. I am not sure if it is properly magic according to your terms, but in my homeland it is simply classified as a special ability that humans sometimes have."

"What _did _you do? I...I could follow most of it, I guess. Up until that last part. What was that?" Miss Louise was acting very timid, in a complete reversal of her usual obnoxious personality. Previously all she had shown in my direction was anger and arrogance.

"Put simply, Miss Louise, I have the ability to manipulate time and space. It allows me to do various neat things, like you just witnessed." I finally confess to my ability. It's not something I am _ashamed _to have, but it does seem to frighten people. Although, the days are long past when I properly cared how humans perceived me. All that I hold dear to my heart is Mistress Remilia now.

"What? You can manipulate...time?"

"And space." I clarified, assuming Miss Louise hasn't read the same books that Patchouli had forced me to on the matter.

"That doesn't make any sense, how could you possibly do that?" Miss Louise said, a bit more angry now.

"Would you like a demonstration?"

"Yeah, why not," she said.

"Alright, but not here. Let us return to your room."

Miss Louise nodded, and then turned around to begin walking to her room. However, after a few paces she turned back around when she noticed I wasn't following her. "Aren't you coming?" She asked.

"I will be there." I said with a smile, and kept my feet planted. She looked at me oddly, and then walked off.

A minute or so later, I saw Miss Louise through a window next to the stairwell in her dorm. I gave her a little wave, and she just looked at me like a crazy person and then kept walking. I suppose now is good enough, so I stopped time, and entered my world of gray.

The movements of all the students ceased. The wind blowing on the blades of grass stopped, the chirping of the birds silenced, and the hue of everything became just a bit desaturated. I do not know what forces are at work that let me freeze the world like this, but it is incredibly comforting for me. The silence and stillness allow me time to think and calm myself, even in the worst situations. Although, it is also incredibly convenient, and I can use it to pull parlor tricks.

I followed Miss Louise back to her room, and found her mid-step while walking up the stairs. I stopped to inspect her for a moment, but then moved on to her room. The forms of people in stopped time were unpleasant to look at. They were like ghosts, or statues. I decided to modify Miss Louise's room a bit like I do the mansion. After I finished, I closed the door and waited by the doorway, resuming time.

Miss Louise walked up the stairs, but then stopped abruptly when she saw me. "H-How did you get here? You were just down there." She exclaimed. I smiled in response, and gestured for her to go inside her room. She walked next to the door, turned back at me one last time, before entering.

When Miss Louise opened the door to her room, her eyes went wide. Her room was five times as large as it used to be, with a high ceiling and a crazy amount of floorspace. Her immediate reaction was to shut the door immediately, then open it again, then shut it, then open it again. She walked down the hallway, paced a bit, and then returned to the door. I was familiar with this reaction, it's fairly standard.

"What...how..."

"Space and time manipulation, as I said."

"My room. It's...it's bigger on the inside!"

"Yes, yes it is."

She then ran into the room, and jogged over to the window opposite the door. I followed her into the room, and closed the door so passersby didn't see. Over by the window, which was now a nontrivial distance away, Miss Louise stared out at the academy. It was the same exact view she had before, of course. I just smiled in satisfaction, having demonstrated my ability quite well, I think. Modifying the size of rooms was a bit of a hobby of mine, and Remilia let me have full run of the mansion to do with as I pleased. There were a lot of strange experiments I did with the mansion, not all of which have reverted fully back to normal. There are one-way staircases, endless hallways, and even a series of rooms creating a four-dimensional hypercube. Not all the doors connect to the rooms you would think they should, and the hallways are wide enough to hold full-scale danmaku battles. So, blowing up Miss Louise's room a bit is no trouble.

"This is unbelievable!" Miss Louise yelled, while running around the open floorspace.

"You will get used to it, after being near me Miss Louise. And although I did this to prove a point, I think you will find it less convenient than the old size."

Miss Louise looked around a bit, and then realized that having the bathroom a hundred feet away from her bed, which was a hundred feet away from her dresser, would be a rough way to start the morning.

"Ha ha, yeah, I suppose you're right."

Did she just...laugh? I looked at her face, the wonder and awe in her eyes. She was enjoying this. Just minutes ago she was looking at me like I stabbed her classmate, but in this moment right now she looked much happier. I guess she realized this herself though, and then quickly regained her composure.

"Ahem, er, well then put it back to how it was, Sakuya. Or, maybe just a little bigger..."

"Of course, Miss Louise. I suggest closing your eyes." I said, and as she closed her eyes I shrunk back the room to about one-and-a-half times its normal size. It was unpleasant to look at space in the process of being altered, and can cause headaches. I am immune, having been used to it, but it makes others very dizzy.

"So, what are you then? Some sort of super-magician? A god?" She asked, after everything was back to semi-normal.

"Nothing of the sort, Miss Louise. It is simply my ability, and I have met a few gods back in my homeland. They are considerably stronger than I am."

"Where the hell are you from again?"

"Gensokyo." I said.

"That sounds like a place I never want to go to."

"It's not so bad. We have rules." I said, but Miss Louise seemed disinterested in hearing the rest of that line of thought. After a brief moment of silence, I spoke up.

"Miss Louise, may I ask a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Well...about Mr. Gramont..." I said hesitantly. Miss Louise's expression became a bit sour as she remembered what had just transpired. She thought for a moment without saying anything, and her head drooped slightly.

"You...hurt him pretty badly...didn't you..." She said, and took a step away from me. It was only natural, I didn't blame her for it. For being afraid of me, once she properly remembered what I had just done. It was how most humans reacted, on seeing me in action. I can't say I find being feared _pleasant_, although Remilia would disagree with me on that point, but it is something I am used to.

Miss Louise straightened up. "Legally, since you are my familiar, Guiche really declared a duel with _me, _and you fought in my stead. So it was a duel between aristocrats, and I won. So I, and by extension you, will not be blamed for anything that may...happen."

"Oh. Well, I am very glad that I have not caused you any major inconvenience, Miss Louise."

"Mmhmm." She said with disinterest.

"..." I stayed silent.

"..." So did she.

"...Miss Louise...do you still want me as your familiar?" I finally asked. She looked over at me, although I could not understand the look on her face.

"You're my familiar. I'm not going to throw you out, or anything."

"You're not?"

"Of course not. Don't be stupid, commoner."


	3. A Mad Tea Party

_Gray Morality  
_

**Chapter 3  
A Mad Tea Party**

"What do you mean she's not on the moon?" Remilia shouted, unamused.

The Scarlet Devil Mansion's library was a bit crowded. Although the library is large enough that no one except Patchouli fully understands its true scope, guests usually only stayed in the entrance area. There was a table and chairs, a couch, and a few other pieces of furniture arranged in a small area by the vast, double-doors leading to the rest of the mansion. In this small area stood the master of the mansion, Remilia Scarlet, her friend Patchouli Knowledge, the librarian Koakuma, and Kirisame Marisa, the ordinary magician. Patchouli and Marisa were cooperating on casting various locator spells to find Sakuya, but they were on their eleventh spell now and all of them had failed.

"She's not in Gensokyo, she's not even on _Earth, _and now she's not on the _Moon _either? _Just where the hell is she Patche?" _Remilia said, her temper running short. Her personal maid had been taken to God knows where, and the two strongest magicians in Gensokyo had no idea how to find her.

"Don't worry, Remi. There are plenty of other spells to try." Patchouli said.

"Yeah! Don't worry at all. Me and Patchy workin' together is an unstoppable force!" Marisa said much louder. "Tell you what, can ya' go get something of the maid's? I want to try an aura trace next."

Patchouli nodded at Marisa's suggestion, and Remilia turned to go collect a personal item of Sakuya's. Most of the spells they had cast so far had been simple location-scanning spells. After the easiest ones to cast had fizzled, Patchouli asked to bring Marisa in and they had opted to do an entire magical sweep of Gensokyo itself. When that failed, they did a sweep of Earth, which had also failed. These spells weren't designed to truly _find_ someone, but only figure out if they were actually in the target area. They were efficient and great for ruling out large areas.

When the spells claimed that Sakuya was not in Gensokyo nor on Earth, Remilia had started cussing out the "moon people" for stealing her maid. Thus, they did a magical sweep of the moon as well, which Patchouli had covertly designed after that one incident. But, it hardly mattered because that spell had failed as well. Wherever Sakuya was, it was somewhere they have never heard of.

Remilia returned to the library while Patchouli and Marisa were drawing arcane marks on specially-made boards scattered around the library. In her hands was a large jar filled with red liquid.

"Will this do?" She asked. Marisa raised her eyebrows when she saw what the little vampire was holding.

"Is that the maid's _blood?" _Marisa asked with skepticism.

"Of course it is. What does it look like?"

"You keep a jar of your head maid's blood?"

Remilia just kind of looked at Marisa for a moment.

"Do you not?"

…..

I was cleaning up the knives I left from the earlier battle with Guiche de Gramont. His metal dolls really did a number on my poor knives. I had thrown sixty-six total, but about twenty of them were completely unrepairable. I would have to sharpen and forge the blades of the rest, once I could find the tools to do so. It's not that my stockpile of knives was small or anything, but it _was _finite and I hate to be wasteful.

I finished placing the final salvageable knife back in its holster when a green-haired woman approached me from the central keep. She was too old to be a student, but too young to be a proper professor. She wore a tight dress, with a pair of thin glasses resting on her nose.

"Excuse me, Miss Izayoi." She said, addressing me.

"Yes, may I help you?"

"I am Longueville, the principal's secretary. He would like to speak with you, if you would follow me."

I flashed a fake smile. "Of course." I said simply, and followed Longueville into the central keep. We went up the long flight of spiraling stairs, all the way to the top floor. The stairs terminated in a small hallway, although it would more accurately be called a waiting room. In the center was a thick, wooden door that had some runes engraved into it. I could not understand them.

Longueville opened the door with no hesitation, and walked right in with me following behind. Inside I found Miss Louise sitting on a wooden chair in front of a large desk, and behind the desk sat an old man dressed in deep blue. He had a long beard stretching down below his chest, colored pure white. Assuming he was human he would be around seventy years of age, but living in Gensokyo has taught me never to assume the age of anyone by their looks alone.

"Ah, you have returned Miss Longueville..." The old man said slowly, with a bit of a stutter in his voice. "And Miss Izayoi, I presume?"

"Yes, this is her." Longueville answered, and then went to go stand by the old man behind the desk. I, on the other hand, went to go stand next to Miss Louise. After entering the room, I also noticed that Professor Colbert was standing next to one of the walls. The room itself was fairly simple: a few bookcases, a simple rug and a desk. There was one large window on the opposite wall of the door, but it was very minimalist. I was honestly expecting something a bit more...arcane and mystical.

"Well then, Miss Izayoi." The principal said. "I am Professor Osmond, the...headmaster of this academy. We were just discussing the earlier kerfuffle with Mr. Gramont." I did not say anything in response, but waited for someone to ask me a question directly instead.

"I was just saying, it was a duel and I won." Miss Louise said loudly. I had a feeling her story was not being listened to, though, from the frustration she was letting out.

"I...want to hear Miss I-Izaoyi's perspective on the matter..." Osmond said. His voice was slow and raspy, with strange pauses in the middle of sentences. I answered him as clearly as I could.

"Mr. Gramont challenged me to a duel, after several rude words were exchanged beforehand. Miss Louise, among many of the other students and maids, made several remarks about how I was surely going to die if I tried to fight him. Naturally I, well, I wasn't exactly going full-out, but I didn't pull any punches either. If you are wondering how I won, it's a simple matter of us having different definitions of what 'strong' means."

"Well, the issue isn't how you won...duels are strictly forbidden here."

"That isn't Sakuya's fault!" Miss Louise said. "Guiche was the one who initiated it. The blame lies with him. You can't expect Sakuya to have known the rules, she's been here less than a day." Miss Louise rose from her seat and made fists with her hands. I was surprised that she was defending me though, after what I did to her classmate.

The principal rubbed the bridge of his nose in thought. Before he could say anything, Colbert spoke up from his position leaning against the wall. "Headmaster, Miss Valliere is right...Mr. Gramont challenged her familiar, and thus her, to a duel and lost. He's clearly the aggressor. If it was _any other _familiar, this would be an open and shut case."

Osmond grumbled a bit, but didn't give any indication that he was swayed. "Miss Longueville...how is the boy's condition?" Osmond asked, while Miss Longueville adjusted her glasses.

"The injury was life-threatening, but he is now stable. The nurse predicts in a few weeks he will be mostly recovered. His family is bringing in a square-class water mage to provide medical help."

"Ahh, is that so..." Osmond said, and turned back to Miss Louise. "Still, I must argue that your familiar is an exception. She's as human as the rest of us, and should be judged as one."

"With all due respect, sir." Miss Louise said, and stood her ground. "The law is the law. It makes no exceptions for smart familiars. Your feelings about it don't matter, Sakuya is a familiar, not a person." There was a cruelness behind that last phrase. Miss Louise had hidden it well, but it was there. That tinge of fear and hatred that I knew oh so well. She rejected me as a person. Well, it's only natural.

Osmond was troubled, but was backed into a corner. He sighed heavily, and slowly stood up from his chair. "I c-can't say no...and since Mr. Gramont's injuries are not fatal...I must let this go. But please, Miss V-Valliere, control your familiar..."

"Ahem, excuse me," I said. Everyone seemed surprised to hear me speak, and gave me their full attention. "I need to see Mr. Gramont as soon as he is feeling better."

Their reactions to that statement were mixed. Miss Louise looked confused, Osmond looked at me suspiciously, and Colbert was in complete shock. Just what exactly did they expect me to do to him?

"I want to have a discussion with him." I tried to clarify, but it didn't seem to ease their concerns.

"I think the last thing Mr. Gramont needs is to see you again." Colbert said. "What is so important to warrant talking with him in the infirmary bed you sent him to? The duel is not valid, so whatever terms you-"

"Oh no, nothing like that." I interrupted. "There is a very important ritual that residents of Gensokyo perform after battles, and I wish to do so here. It serves a valuable purpose, so it's important to do so quickly."

"May I ask the nature of-" Colbert began to say again, before he was once again interrupted.

"So everything is fine, right?" Miss Louise said. "I would like to take my familiar and go now, I've already missed dinner."

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss Louise. I'll make you something right away." I said quickly, and moved to leave with her. The principal Osmond and Colbert didn't stop us, so we made ourselves out the door into the winding staircase. The moons had just risen, and out a window I could see the dimly-lit academy grounds. The view of the landscape was amazing from the upper floors of the keep, although Miss Louise did not seem to be concerned and was walking at a quick pace.

"Miss Louise, is there anything you would specifically like for dinner? I don't have to conform to the meal plan."

Miss Louise didn't look at me right away, and kept walking down the stairs. I was having some difficulty matching her pace as I tried to walk behind her, which was strange, and it took me a few flights of stairs to realize it. _She was trying to get away from me. _I had originally walked close behind her, but ever since the duel a few extra feet have slipped into that distance. Her pace became natural only when I increased the distance between us.

She was afraid of me, and didn't see me as a human.

"I could really go for a steak...but that would take too long to make..." She said quietly. She feared me, and yet she kept me around. I can't understand her, shouldn't she throw me away?

"Miss Louise, _time _is not something you need to concern yourself with." I said a bit cryptically. She looked over at me in confusion, then I saw her eyes widen when she connected the dots. I smiled at her in response, but she turned back quickly and continued walking. The silence dragged on.

"Miss Louise," I said to break the silence. "Thank you for defending me."

"Hmph. You're my familiar, stupid comm..." Miss Louise began to insult, but stopped. Her pace slowed a bit as if she was thinking over her earlier rudeness. I'm glad to see she's being a bit more respectful now.

"Stupid maid." She said. I sighed, and continued to follow behind her.

…..

We went to the kitchen. "Your steak, Miss Louise. Cooked to perfection." I said with pride, and set down a plate in front of Miss Louise on a table. She had said the dining commons were too lonely with no one in it, and wanted to eat in the kitchen instead. This let her see me prepare her steak, which I had manipulated time around to cook it within thirty seconds. Most people don't find it interesting to look at though. Remilia had commented it looked like a mirage or a trick of the eyes instead of something amazing, and most people probably wouldn't even notice unless it was pointed out. But when a fully-cooked steak pops out of that mirage is when the shocked reactions come in.

"Wow, you really did cook it quickly." Miss Louise said, and took a bite. After swallowing, she followed up. "And it's delicious too. Amazing."

"I am glad you think so, Miss Louise." I said, and stood behind her while she ate. A few of the other maids were in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess from the recently-passed dining hours. Most of them avoided my gaze, but were working a bit harder than I suspect they usually do since I was present. One of them, Siesta, was unlike the others though. She walked right up to Miss Louise and I.

"Sakuya...er, I mean...Chief?" She said.

"Yes, Siesta?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Ah, no, but I was wondering if tonight was going to be like last night..." Siesta said with some hesitation.

"Siesta, it is rude for two maids to have a discussion while their master is eating in the same room."

"Eh? Ah, er, I'm sorry!" Siesta said quickly, and bowed to Miss Louise. However, she bowed too low and too quickly, whacking her head on the table. She then fell down onto the floor, as if she was _trying _to fit the clumsy maid stereotype. A stereotype which I absolutely abhor with everything I believe in, although I've been forced to play that persona from time to time when Remilia commanded it. It does provoke a certain...stimulation.

"Ha ha ha!" Miss Louise laughed and pointed towards the downed maid, who was dying of suitable embarrassment. "Don't worry, I am a bit interested in this conversation. What happened last night, Sakuya?"

"After you went to bed, Miss Louise, I kept the maid staff up and trained them late into the night. With your permission of course, I would like to continue their nightly training."

"You're training the maids?"

"Yes. As the Chief Maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, it is an offer I could not refuse. Do not worry, it will not lower the quality of my service to you, Miss Louise. I am an exceptionally gifted multi-tasker."

"Is that why they've all been giving you dirty looks when your back was turned?" Miss Louise deadpanned.

"Excuse me, they've been doing what now?"

Siesta had decided that something over there required her immediate attention, and crawled over to it as fast as she possibly could. Miss Louise watched her crawl away, then turned around to look at me.

"Sakuya, there's a really scary look on your face..."

…..

Miss Louise was nearly finishing her meal, so I had decided to begin preparing a dessert for her. I was throwing together a sundae when the door to the kitchen opened. In shuffled Colbert, who looked like he was wandering into unknown territory. It's a funny sort of feeling, even when you technically outrank the servant staff, there is a feel of uneasiness when you walk into their domain. Kitchens, their quarters, or service elevators—despite the masters having every right to be there, they avoid them even at a loss of convenience. I didn't bother to welcome Colbert as he walked into the kitchen, and Miss Louise didn't notice him until he spoke up.

"Ah, Miss Valliere, Miss Izayoi, I was told I could find you here."

"Professor Colbert?" Miss Louise said. "What are you doing here?"

The professor walked over to the table and rested his wooden staff on the nearby wall. "Well, I was hoping to talk to you two about...well, you two."

"Eh? What does that mean?" Miss Louise asked, and set down her fork. I was unsure if she was really finished eating or if she was just pausing to converse, so I didn't go bus her plate.

"Well, Miss Izayoi is a bit special of a familiar. We have never before summoned a familiar that is, to be frank, sentient. The familiar runes on her hand are something I've never seen before as well. Really, it's just a unique situation."

"Hmph. Figures, _my _familiar ends up being something special. By the Founder, why couldn't I just summon something normal..."

I am a bit insulted that she's not pleased to have a familiar above and beyond the rest. But understandable as there is not a real bond of trust between us. From observing the others it seems that the familiar bond is something that is supposed to be special, closer than even marriage. But Miss Louise and I do not and will not have any such bond.

"Yes, well, for that reason we need to have a discussion."

"Excuse me," I said from across the room as I made Miss Louise's sundae. "If it wasn't clear before, my only goal is to get back home, and anything that does not forward that goal I have no interest in pursuing. Don't make the mistake of thinking I've decided to live here."

"About that...honestly, I don't even know where to begin. The strongest scrying spells we have don't have a large maximum distance, and location spells have not been well researched. It would be more effective to just grab a telescope and look into space to see if your home is out there somewhere."

"That's discouraging." I said. Miss Patchouli is almost surely being commanded by Remilia to find me, but I was hoping that I would be able to help on my end as well. But I can't use magic, and if Colbert is speaking the truth then their magic is too primitive to be effective. As I stood still in thought, Colbert voiced my own thoughts as if he was a satori.

"Will anyone be looking _for _you, Miss Izayoi?"

"Yes, actually, I am fairly certain that my mistress will search for me high and low. As I said, she does not like people taking her things." I said, and I watched the professor put a scowl on his face.

"You refer to yourself as an object?"

"I am a possession of Mistress Remilia, so perhaps I do. For her. The hypocrisy of an _aristocrat _looking out for the satisfaction of a _plebeian _is not lost on me, however."

That comment seemed to either go over Miss Louise's head, since she picked up her fork again and began to finish off the last few bites on her plate before it got cold. Either that or she just chose to ignore it. Colbert, on the other hand, averted his gaze in shame. I have only been here a day, but I have already noticed the kind of treatment commoners get in the face of the nobles. The maid staff was happy to fill me in as well. Those who use magic are the aristocrats, and those who do not are the commoners. The fate of the world fell as expected: the strong magic users oppress the weak, and the aristocratic system of government was put into place. This led to a pretty hate-filled relationship between the upper and lower class.

"Well, er, in any case," Colbert said and then intentionally coughed a bit. "I was thinking, if we can't search for your home, then we could make it easier for your home to find us."

"Oh. That's actually a good idea." I said flatly. "Did you have something specific in mind?"

"I'll have to do a bit of spell research, but creating some sort of beacon spell shouldn't be too hard. I'll let you know when I hammer out the details."

"Excellent. Now, if you excuse us, Miss Louise is about to start her dessert." I said, and Colbert hurriedly grabbed his staff and made his way out of the kitchen. He passed by Siesta on the way out, who was carrying a stack of plates that had to be washed. I bussed Miss Louise's finished dinner and replaced it with a sundae, casually tossing the dirty plate on top of Siesta's stack as she walked past. She frowned at me, so I smiled sadistically in response.

I stood behind Miss Louise as she ate, watching Siesta clean out of the corner of my eye. While the maid staff's performance was terrible all around, they were at least somewhat capable of cleaning properly. They did it inefficiently, but it did get done. It's not worthy of handing out any praise though, if any of the fairy maids tried to clean this way I would put a knife in their back.

"Sakuya." Miss Louise said. "Sit down." I was surprised at the command, but obeyed and walked around to the opposite chair to Miss Louise. I pulled it out and sat down.

"Sakuya...so you...really want to go home..?" Miss Louise spoke softly, as if she didn't want to upset me.

"Yes, Miss Louise."

"Just to go back to your old master? Am I not good enough for you?"

"It's not..._only _that. While Mistress Remilia means everything to me, everyone I know and love is in Gensokyo. There's Remilia, of course, but there's also Meiling, the gate guard. Miss Patchouli, the bookworm. Her own familiar, Koakuma. Then there's the shrine maiden Reimu, and her tenacious friend Marisa, who Patchouli secretly likes. I'm on good terms with the doll master Alice, and the half-ghost Youmu, who visit the Scarlet Devil Mansion often. _Gensokyo_ is my home. Not this place."

"Ah...I...I never realized..." Miss Louise said, barely able to get the words out. She dropped her spoon onto the table and stopped eating. "I'm sorry..."

"No need to apologize, Miss Louise. There is no need to ever apologize to your maid. On a separate note, what _is _this place called? I've heard the name Tristain thrown around, but I'm not too clear on-"

"The country is called Tristain. The continent is Halkeginia."

"Thank you, I see now. Halkeginia, what an peculiar name."

"No stranger than 'Gensokyo.' What does that mean anyways?" Miss Louise asked.

"I don't know. Something about the East?"

Miss Louise exhaled, and then picked up her spoon to finish her dessert.

…..

I had put Miss Louise to bed, extinguishing the magical lights around the room. She seemed a bit nervous or tense about something, but I wasn't sure what so I didn't manage to console her properly. It's a maid's duty to comfort their master in body and mind, although I am simply not familiar enough with Miss Louise to do it effectively. After she fell asleep, I left her room to go back to the maid quarters for training session number two.

As I opened the door to the servant's quarters, I was met with a completely unexpected reaction. After I took a few steps in and the pajama-clad servants noticed my presence, they began to clap. Then the others joined in, and a wave of applause resounded through the area. It wasn't exactly the response I was looking for, and I was more confused than satisfied.

"May I ask-" I tried to say, before I was cut off.

"Sakuya~! You're amazing!"

"Yeah, you put that damn aristocrat brat in his place!"

"Super cool!"

I tried to get a word in edgewise, but the sheer amount of praise I was receiving threw me off step. "E-Excuse me, what exactly are you-"

"How you beat up that Guiche kid!" One of the maids responded. "Do you know _how badly _we wish we could do that? You're our hero~"

This seems like it is getting a little out of hand. Me, a hero, what a strange thought. But perhaps I could use this. "Well," I said, "If you really think that, then I hope to see more enthusiasm in our training sessions." I put a smile on my face.

"Wait..." A maid said. "Training sessions? As in, more than one?"

"Of course. We will be having them every night until I am satisfied with your performance."

The cheering quieted and the maids started to look at each other nervously. Last night had run to about three in the morning, which only left them four hours of sleep. Nightly sessions like that would completely exhaust them, which I well knew, but it was necessary to push them to become better maids. Their performance was simply not acceptable as it currently was.

"Eh? But you kept us up so late...when will you be satisfied?"

I put my finger to my chin as if I was actually thinking it over. "Well, judging by your current level of performance, perhaps about ten years? Although the more accurate estimate would be never."

"_WHAT?_" Most of the maids shouted in surprise and anger. "You're going to train us every night for _ten years?"_

"Oh no, I don't plan on being here nearly that long. So you may effectively assume as long as I _am _here, you will be trained by me, every night, without fail."

"But, but, but when will we sleep?"

"Not my problem."

No one could protest at that, since I just dismissed their major concern with a hand wave. They didn't know what to say, and an awkward silence filled the room. After a long moment, one of the maids who was half-dressed and getting ready for bed shouted inelegantly, "We don't have to listen to you! What gives you the right to boss us around?"

After she spoke, the maids around her started to nod, rallying around the maid who dared to speak up. However, one of my more favored bits of wisdom is the saying, "The nail that sticks up gets hammered down." This is especially applicable to a maid: we are trained to blend into the background, and be maximally useful while minimally exposed. A noticeable maid is a maid who should not exist. So, I put on one of my signature smiles, and slowly approached her. The maids around her stepped back, but she stood her ground.

"What is your name?" I said, stopping right in front of her.

"...Lidia."

"Well, Lidia..." I said seductively, and grabbed her shoulder with my left hand and pushed her against the nearby wall. With my right hand, I slowly reached down under my skirt, and pulled a knife out from my thigh belt. I prevented her from moving with my grasp, while placing the flat of the knife against her neck. The cold blade sent a chill through Lidia's skin, and she froze in place. A gasp came from some of the onlookers in the hallway.

"If you do _not _do what I say, I will slice you up like I did the Gramont boy."

The maid was still holding onto the wall with her hands when I retreated and sheathed the knife. I looked at the rest of the maids with a cold glare, and they recoiled in response. "Well, what are you lot waiting for? Get dressed, we have training to do."

That display had been quite sufficient to motivate them.

…..

I kept the maids up late again. The first night I had trained them in some basic mannerisms, but once they were told what they had to do all they then needed was practice. So, this night I had decided to teach them how to better prepare meals. Their cooking was especially bad, and it was the most critical task that needed to be improved. Siesta had mentioned that the academy had tried to hire a semi-famous chef named Marteau four years back, but at the last moment he turned the position down. So, the academy had operated on amateur knowledge of cooking. They had been preparing the same rotation of meals every week.

I first decided to at least tell them how to cook those specific meals better, before trying to teach them anything new. The ingredients were fantastic at least, but the preparation was simply atrocious. It was beyond just cooking certain things too long or to short: they were doing parts of it just plain _wrong. _So I forced them to practice cooking late into the night, before finally letting them rest. I, of course, made sure that they kept up the proper mannerisms of a maid at all times for practice.

Although the maid staff would only be getting about five hours of sleep tonight, I was not bound by such silly notions as a time limit. I found a bed, stopped time and slept in it before returning to Miss Louise's room. I did some organizing, cleaning and laundry while I waited for the sun to rise and my third day in Halkeginia to begin. Without much delay, the sun rose and the light poured into the room.

"Rise and shine, Miss Louise." I said loudly, thrusting the curtains open. Her response was similar to the previous morning, and it seemed a routine was starting to set in.

It wasn't until late afternoon when I got a bit of good news. Miss Louise had been reading in the main library while I stood dutifully behind her. At the table was also the quiet girl, her nose buried in some sort of novel. She had a remarkably subtle presence, and I thought to myself she would make an excellent maid. While I entertained ephemeral thoughts like that, Professor Colbert approached us, his wooden staff in hand and an old tome at his side.

"Ah, Miss Valliere." He whispered, and Miss Louise looked up from her book.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"Well...Mr. Gramont is awake, if you would like to see him..." He said, and my ears perked up. Miss Louise glanced at me, but I did not change my expression and she turned back to Colbert.

"Alright," she said while closing her book. Miss Louise stood up from the table, and gestured for me to follow. It was an unnecessary gesture of course, maids must always follow their masters unless expressly told not to do so. But Miss Louise will pick up on how to handle _capable_ servants in due time.

Colbert led us to the infirmary, but before we reached it I stopped time. Nothing sinister, I just had to prepare some tea to drink with Guiche. Colbert and Miss Louise didn't even notice when I performed the maneuver, and a tray of tea suddenly sprouted into existence in my hands. I was standing behind them though, so they weren't exactly looking at me. It wasn't until we reached the doors to the infirmary and Colbert turned around, when he suddenly became confused. He pointed to the tea in my hands.

"Where did that come from?"

"It's tea. I got it from the stockroom."

"But when did you get it?"

"Don't bother asking." Miss Louise said in my place, shutting Colbert up. Without missing a step, she turned the doorknob and swung the door inwards. The infirmary was fairly small. There were three separate hospital beds and a single large desk. Cabinets lined the walls, all with strange labels that I could not read but I imagined were the names of various pharmaceuticals. Sitting in a simple wooden chair was a women in a lab coat, and resting on one of the beds was the man I had dueled with and nearly killed yesterday. Next to him was sitting his blonde-haired girlfriend on a wooden stool, holding his hand. Also in the room was the green-haired woman, Miss Longueville, although I couldn't imagine why.

"Ah, you!" Guiche said as he saw Miss Louise and I enter. However, he then quickly clutched his side in pain after his outburst. He was that fragile, huh? I gave one of my smiles in response while I set the tea down on a side-table next to his bed.

"What are _you_ doing here?" His girlfriend spat out at me, a clear note of disgust in her voice. Miss Louise then looked up at me expectantly—I now realize I did not actually say why I wanted to speak with Guiche. I chuckled softly to myself, which threw the girl and Guiche on guard.

"I want to have a cup of tea with Mr. Gramont here, is all." I said, and began to pour a cup. There was enough for everybody, so I poured out a cup for each of them. Including myself. While it is _forbidden _for a maid to dare to give herself a serving of what her master is having, this was a special occasion.

"I...don't want any." He said, and turned his head away.

"I'm sorry. It's non-optional."

"What?" Guiche said nervously, and the rest of the room looked at me like I was a crazy person.

"Back in my home world, it is a bit of an unwritten rule that after a battle, the involved parties must have tea with each other. The purpose of the ritual is to show there are no hard feelings based on the outcome, and it's critical to how our world operates. So, you are going to drink that tea, and we're going to chat."

This system was a product of Hakurei Reimu, the shrine maiden and protector of Gensokyo. While I don't think this part was actually explicitly intended as part of the Spellcard Rules, it had come about anyways. The shrine maiden had laid down the laws of the Spellcard Rules to tame the violent residents of Gensokyo, so that disputes could be settled without having to murder and eat one another. The act of sitting down and drinking tea with the enemy you just defeated—or were defeated by—really helped to "mend some fences" and establish a true peace in Gensokyo. Although, perhaps "peace" was pushing it. Humans were still eaten every day by the youkai, even at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. But it was not the war zone it once was.

Guiche reluctantly took the tea, and began to sip it. So did his girlfriend, and Miss Louise and I. Colbert had not approached and was standing next to the doctor with Longueville.

"Excuse me, but I do not believe I know your name. I am Izayoi Sakuya." I asked the blonde-haired girl. She looked at me with hateful eyes.

"Montmorency Margarita La Fere de Montmorency."

"Miss Montmorency it is then. And how about you, Mr. Gramont? How are you feeling after taking three knives to the chest?"

"How do you _think _I feel?" He said angrily, but restrained himself so he didn't cause more pain. "It hurts."

"Yes, I am sorry about that. I have to ask though, why didn't you put up any personal defenses? I was counting on you deflecting those three knives, not absorbing them. A doll user I have a lot of respect for would have admonished your performance."

Guiche didn't respond straight-away, so Miss Louise used it as an opportunity to interject. "Didn't you just take him by surprise? Everyone assumed you were just a common maid." After Miss Louise finished, Guiche nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, and then you did whatever the hell that was in the sky. I didn't have enough time to do _anything _before I was hit."

I thought back about the battle. How much time did I really give him before unleashing the rain of knives and then firing off three more? He had summoned ten dolls, I had run forward and leaped into the air. While it had taken me about ten minutes in stopped-time to set them up, the real amount of time between my leap and the rain was less than ten seconds. After the rain, I had fallen to the ground and thrown three knives in about two and a half seconds. Right, right, definitely not enough time for an amateur to collect himself after a shocking development. Sometimes I misjudge how long other people perceive the world.

"True, I didn't give you long to react. But after I shattered the first two, wouldn't that have been the time to re-evaluate and consider defending yourself?" I said. Guiche turned away.

"So, what _was _that?" He said, deflecting the question I asked of him.

"Could you clarify the question?"

"That in the sky...that killed my golems...what was that?"

"They were knives."

"No, I understand that. But how did you do it? Magic?" Guiche asked, and I took a sip of my tea instead of answering and glanced at Miss Louise. I had told _her _the nature of my ability, but I would leave it up to her discretion whether or not to discuss _her _familiar's inner-workings. She caught my glance and seemed to understand my intent.

"It's my familiar's special ability, and you don't get to know more than that." Miss Louise said proudly. I turned back to Guiche and shrugged jokingly. He pouted a bit, but I guess it was proper of nobles to not ask about another's familiar in detail. One of those aristocratic formalities I had no real interest in learning.

The minutes ticked away while we sat there chatting and drinking tea. I had no interest in actually starting a friendship with this human, but he did enter a match with me so a certain amount of respect is due. Even if it's a bit unpleasant for me to give it. But, as a proper denizen of Gensokyo I pleasantly chatted with Guiche, Montmorency and Miss Louise until the nurse told us to leave.

My thoughts turned back to the Scarlet Devil Mansion and the residents of Gensokyo as we left the infirmary. I wonder if they really are out looking for me. I'd like to think that Remilia would move heaven and Earth to find me, but I couldn't shake the feeling that she might give up if it was too hard. She does have a tendency to get bored easily.


	4. Security Concerns

_Gray Morality_

**Chapter 4  
Security Concerns**

"There's _no way _I'm_ ever _going to give up, Patche!" Remilia shouted, disturbing the peace and quiet of the library. Patchouli looked at Remilia with a cold, hard stare.

"It's useless, Remi. There is nothing you can do."

"There's _always _something you can do." Remilia said. Patchouli shook her head in pity and sighed as she watched Remilia struggle in her own thoughts. Seconds ticked away, turning to minutes. After a long, long while, Remilia finally made up her mind. With a heavy hand, she reached over the table.

"I move my knight to F6 and take your queen."

Almost automatically, Patchouli repositioned her bishop to E7. "Checkmate," she said smugly, to which Remilia promptly flipped the table in rage having lost another game of chess. Patchouli was good—real good—and Remilia just couldn't keep up. They were sitting in the sitting area of the library, with Marisa keeping them company. While Marisa was usually an unwelcome presence in the library, Patchouli was not above working with her magical peers when important problems arose. And the case of the missing maid definitely registered as a major problem, or at least to Remilia. Marisa looked up from her book at Remilia's display of rage before chuckling and returning to the tome she was reading.

"Rematch?" Patchouli asked.

"No. I've had enough." Remilia said, and sighed as she looked at the chess pieces sprawled out on the floor. "Get someone to clean this up."

Patchouli made a gesture, and a few seconds later the librarian and Patchouli's familiar, Koakuma, walked out from between two bookcases. Koakuma, the little devil, would seem human if it wasn't for her black, bat-like wings and her long tail that terminated with a triangular spike. While the wings would look the same as Remilia's from a common human's perspective, people educated in magic and magical creatures knew there were worlds of difference between them. While Remilia was a higher-class demon of immense power and influence, Koakuma was a lower-class demon who could only perform cute tricks. It gave her a lot of utility, but besides organizing books in the library she was not terribly capable.

"Yes, Miss Patchouli?" Koakuma said.

"Clean these up, please."

"Uwah...what happened...?" Koakuma asked as she bent down to retrieve the chess pieces. Remilia looked away in embarrassment, and didn't respond. Koakuma just giggled to herself and resumed cleaning up. She was not quite as respectful of her masters as the chief maid was, but she was a little devil after all.

"So, how is that spell coming?" Remilia said to change the subject. At the question, Patchouli and Marisa both became a bit more focused and turned around in their chairs to look at a chalkboard. It was set up a short distance away from the chairs, and had a very complex magical circle configuration drawn on it in different colored chalk. Seemingly random parts of it started to glow, and then faded as different parts glowed. It was all very normal to magicians, but a bit strange to anyone else.

"Eh, 'bout another hour or so." Marisa said, and then shifted back on the chair to get back into her book. Remilia sighed again, and got up to go find a maid to make her some tea. Life without Sakuya was starting to get terribly inconvenient.

…..

"I'm sorry, it's the what?"

"It's the Familiar Debut. Fa-mi-li-ar De-but. It's where the students show off their familiars."

"Hah..."

Miss Louise was trying to convey to me some sort of festival that we would be having tomorrow at the academy. It had been almost a week since I had critically injured Guiche, and he was still confined to the infirmary. Since then, the students had been told to familiarize themselves with their, well, familiars, and at the end of the week there would be some sort of talent show. Miss Louise had told me to do something that wasn't menacing and evil like stabbing somebody with knives, so it required a bit of thought on my part to come up with something. The whole idea of a talent show seemed very below me, but who was I to argue?

"Alright, Miss Louise, and now why are we standing here if the festival is tomorrow?"

"Do I have to explain _everything _to you?" Miss Louise complained.

"I'm terribly sorry Miss Louise!" I said quickly, and bowed deeply. "I did not mean to pester you."

Miss Louise seemed taken aback by my sudden respectfulness, and in the corner of my eye I saw her cheeks get a bit red. "Ah, er, no, it wasn't..." She said, trying to get her bearings. She took a deep breath, and then turned away to where she was looking before. We, and the rest of the entire student body, servant staff, professors, and the principal himself were standing out in the main courtyard. Everyone was gathered around the paved road that led from the main gate to the central keep. "Princess Henrietta, the leader of Tristain, is coming to witness the Familiar Debut." Miss Louise explained.

"Oh, I understand." I said. I had more questions, mainly why the leader of the _country _is coming to a little festival that a school was throwing, but I didn't ask them. Miss Louise already admonished me for pestering her, and I wasn't about to continue down that road. I simply rose from my bow, and took my place standing tall, strong and elegantly behind Miss Louise while she and the rest of the students waited for their leader to arrive.

Clearly, the people of Halkeginia do not have a rigorous timekeeping system, as we had to wait out in the courtyard for nearly an hour before the princess finally did arrive. However, it was certainly over-the-top when she did. First, three horse-mounted guards rode in in a triangle formation wearing full plate armor, masks and all. Next came a horse-drawn carriage, with a few more guards surrounding it on either side. But the paint of the carriage was very simple, and it was clear it did not hold the princess when the next carriage rolled up. This new carriage was painted bright white with a purple trim. There were gold ornaments and silk cloth draping down the sides. But most surprising was that it was pulled not by normal horses, but two stark-white _unicorns. _I looked on in awe as it passed by, followed by another simple carriage, followed by three knights in the rear. The progression stopped when it reached the central keep, and several guards poured out of the first and third carriages. Although they were wearing lighter armor than the horse-mounted guards, they still looked intimidating.

The driver of the ornate carriage was dressed in a suit, and he stepped down from the driver's seat to open the carriage door. As he did, first emerged a woman wearing a maid's uniform. She was unremarkable, but she seemed to do her job much better than the academy maids so I respected her at least a little bit. She held out her arm, to which the next figure to emerge grabbed. And from the carriage emerged a young woman wearing a simple white dress, cloaked with a purple mantle. Her hair was shoulder-length and deep purple as well, the same shade as the mantle, and on her head rested a silver tiara. She was like a princess out of a fairy-tale, innocent and pure. The smile and she flashed the crowd and little wave caused everyone to burst into applause. I looked down at Miss Louise, who was looking at the princess with a great amount of respect and love. I had never seen her give anyone that look before.

The princess walked over to Headmaster Osmond, who knelt at her presence. "Thank you for receiving me at this year's Familiar Debut, Headmaster Osmond." Princess Henreitta said formally and eloquently.

"O-Of course, your highness." Osmond said, and rose back to his feet. "Allow me to show you to your room..." Osmond turned and walked back into the keep, while the princess and some of her guards followed. They entered the building, and the double doors closed behind them while two guards stood in front of it. Was that really it? We waited out her for over an hour to see her show up and then go to her room? Although, I guess I can understand that kind of devotion. If it was Mistress Remilia I would have waited an eternity just for that little display.

Soon after it was clear the show was over, the crowd began to disperse. The professors headed to their offices, the students to their rooms or whatever it was they did on the weekend, and the maids back to their posts. Or, at least they better be going back to their posts or I would have to discipline them later. I had gone over most of the basics of being a maid over the week, so at least they know _what _to do. Unfortunately, actually doing it is another matter entirely.

"The princess sure looked beautiful, don't ya' think?" A voice came from near us. Miss Louise and I turned to see Kirche, the red-headed hot-head. Next to her was the small, blue-haired girl. Her nose was buried in another book, completely ignoring the presence of everyone around her.

"Of course, she's perfect." Miss Louise said proudly in response, as if it was somehow her doing. "How could anyone question someone like her?"

"Hah, well I'm Germanian so I hardly concern myself with foreign leaders. But it does make me a bit envious...all our leaders are a bunch of brute men. Handsome, sure, but not like your princess..." Kirche said. Miss Louise had given me a few lessons on how Halkeginia operated and the geography and such. If I remember correctly, Germania is a large country to the north of Tristain. This girl was a foreign exchange student then? I couldn't help but glance down at her massive breasts below the two buttons she had undone. If all women were like that from Germania, I hope it burns to the ground.

"Hmph, maybe you should immigrate." Miss Louise said.

"A ha ha, oh Zero Louise, she wasn't _that _flattering."

"Don't call me Zero!"

"A ha ha...ha.." Kirche started laughing, but then quieted down and looked at me. I looked back at her, right in the eyes, and she averted her gaze downwards. The rumor mill was especially powerful at the academy, and news of Guiche's near-death spread throughout the entire campus. It had generated a healthy amount of fear of Miss Louise, although more specifically me. The truth had made the rounds, but as rumors do they morphed into the strangest things. Some claimed that Miss Louise had ordered me to kill Guiche, others claimed I was a rabid monster who was only held in check by Miss Louise. They were all over the place. And, as I could have easily predicted, I became feared.

Miss Louise still seemed approachable though, and Kirche often conversed with her. I thought they had a hateful relationship, but it seemed more like a bit of a rivalry, or "friendly enemies." I remained standing in silence as they finished their conversation and went separate ways. During the entire encounter the other girl had not said a single word, and only flipped through the pages of her book. I don't even know her name.

When evening came, after Miss Louise had finished the dinner I cooked for her, we headed back up to her room. Apparently Kirche and Miss Louise are dorm-mates, although all of the aristocrats have their own personal rooms. We also do this at the Scarlet Devil Mansion for the fairy maids—lack of space is never a problem there—even if they don't deserve it. Still, for the academy the cost of maintaining personal rooms for every student should be pretty high. Although, aristocrats could surely afford it. The Tristain Academy tuition was probably enormous.

Miss Louise waved Kirche off as she entered her own room, while the two of us continued higher up the tower. Miss Louise's room was fairly high, not quite the top floor but pretty close, although she seemed not to enjoy the climb. We reached her floor, and walked down the short hallway to her room. There were locks on the doors, but Miss Louise rarely used them. She casually twisted the knob of the door and pushed it open. However, when I saw what was inside I grabbed her shoulder and pushed her out of the way. Sitting there on one of the chairs was a brown-cloaked figure with a large hood over his head.

"Identify yourself." I said sharply, and drew a sharp knife from my thigh belt. The figure seemed startled, and then stood up to remove his hood. After the hood fell, I was honestly shocked. Standing there in a commoner's robes was Princess Henrietta, who I had just seen hours before. I let go of Miss Louise, who moved back in front of me.

"Princess!" She said, and ran into the room. I quickly followed and shut the door behind us, making sure to lock it this time.

"Oh, Louise Francoise." Princess Henrietta said in a very lovely voice, and outstretched her arms. Miss Louise embraced her in a hug, while I dutifully watched from next to the door. I did not expect this. The princess is personally familiar with Miss Louise? Was Miss Louise more special than I initially realized? She seemed to just be a completely incompetent magician who by some flute of fate summoned me. I watched as Miss Louise break away from the hug suddenly, and then fall to her knees.

"Uwah, er, I'm sorry your highness!" She said while kneeling in the same manner the principal had earlier. I was still standing out of the way, of course. Maids need to act closer to furniture than they do to real people, and it is better to simply stand out of the way and act like you do not exist than mimic your master's movements and bow. There are exceptions though, and the skill of a maid comes from realizing when you need to do what. A skill I have trained well.

"Oh come now Louise, there is no need for formalities between us. We are childhood friends, after all." Henrietta said, and clasped her hands together. Miss Louise slowly got back to her feet, strangely reluctant.

"Princess, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you of course." Henrietta said, and smiled. "And who is your maid? She gave me quite the fright when you entered."

"Uwah, I'm sorry she scared you princess! She's a super violent person, but also my familiar."

Hey, I don't think I'm such a-

"Your familiar? That's interesting...what's her name?"

"Sakuya." Miss Louise said, and I gave a bow as I was introduced. While it's important to stay out of the way, if the conversation brings you up specifically, it's _critically important _you realize it and respond accordingly. A maid who is acting like furniture is fantastic, but a maid who is not paying attention is unforgivable. Princess Henrietta then turned towards me, and gave a cute curtsy.

"It is nice to meet you, Miss Sakuya. I am Henrietta de Tristain. Protect my friend well, human familiar."

"I have every intention of doing so, your highness." I said, and raised myself from my bow. Henrietta nodded, and then turned back to Miss Louise.

"Louise Francoise, I'm terribly sorry but I do not have time to stay and chat. I had to sneak away from my guards just to come here, and if I'm not back soon the captain will get angry with me..."

"O-Of course, Princess. It was nice to see you." Miss Louise said. Henrietta gave her one more quick hug, and I opened the door for her and let her leave. After she was gone, I shut the door again and locked it. I planned on apologizing to Miss Louise for letting a stranger enter her room uninvited, even if it was a good friend, but she cut me off before I could do so.

"You better not embarrass me in front of the princess tomorrow!"

"I will do my best," I replied.

…..

The crowd had started to gather in the clearing where the Familiar Debut would be held. A large array of chairs had been set up (by the maid staff and I) that would accommodate the entire student body and staff, as well as a sizable number of visitors. It was supposedly a very entertaining event, and the first and third year students showed up despite not participating. And of course the presence of the princess herself generated more attendance just of itself. The students who actually would be performing had their own special tent that was set up next to the stage. The stage was of a temporary construction, but it was still sturdily built. Miss Louise had said it was a famous festival that drew visitors even from neighboring villages.

Princess Henrietta had her own special viewing platform surrounded by guards. She had already taken her perch, and a short line of students had formed to "meet and greet" her. The guards themselves were cautious, but not overly paranoid. Perhaps my perception of the people in this world is skewed because of my own maid staff's incompetence, but the princess's guards surprised me with their skill. Their presence was subtle, but noticeable. It let the princess be accessible while still being protected. Their formation was solid, and I couldn't identify any easy penetration points. Although I could easily drop them if I went all-out, I can see how potential assassins who _couldn't _alter time would have trouble. I wish the mansion's gate guard would have just a pinch of their professionalism.

After everyone was seated, the princess stood up from her little platform. She smiled and gave a quick wave to the crowd. "I am honored to be here to witness this birthing of new magicians. This is an important and symbolic day, but I won't droll on with the spiel you've all heard before. Let's just enjoy the show." The princess said, and the crowd applauded as she sat back down. Soon after, Professor Colbert walked onto the stage, and he started the show.

The first few students who performed I did not recognize. There were quite a bit of students in the second year class, and I couldn't be bothered to remember most of their names. The first person I did notice was Montmorency, Guiche's girlfriend. Her familiar was a frog, and she played the violin while the frog did a few cute tricks. It was not very impressive to be honest; I could find better entertainment at a carnival. A few more nameless students performed before the next name I recognized showed up: Kirche Zerbst. Her performance was more dramatic, the fire salamander that served as her familiar breathing streams of flaming breath into the air. It garnished a hefty amount of applause before she left the stage, and a few more nameless students went before it was Miss Louise and my turn. Miss Louise decided to give me some words of encouragement before we walked up onstage.

"Don't scare them, you hear? Stabbing is bad!"

Yes. Quite encouraging.

"I will do as you command, Miss Louise. Stabbing is bad." I repeated, as the voice of professor Colbert resounded across the courtyard.

"And now, Miss Louise de la Valliere and her familiar, Izayoi Sakuya."

Miss Louise walked out onstage, with me following closely behind her. As we walked to center stage, I glanced over at the audience. While the entire student body was _very _aware that I was indeed a familiar, some of the guests from outside the academy looked confused. And they had every right to be—all the familiars so far were some sort of animal. And while I may be referred to as a dog in Gensokyo, that is no reason to classify me with these other subhuman familiars. To alleviate the confusion, Miss Louise decided to shout out to the crowd once we reached center stage.

"I am Louise Francoise de la Valliere, and this is my familiar Sakuya. She's _definitely not a commoner!" _

After a beat, the audience roared in laughter. Even the students who were wary of me began to laugh. Miss Louise's delivery was so perfect, there was no way it couldn't _not _be taken as a joke. The look on her face, on the other hand, made it clear she had said it with dead seriousness. I suppose I am not the only one who has trouble communicating with humans. I waited for the crowd to die down before beginning our performance. We had in fact not prepared a comedy routine, although maybe that would have been a better idea. But there's no point in thinking of could-haves, so I bowed to Miss Louise and held out my hand, the palm facing upwards. Miss Louise took it with her own hand, and our little dance began.

We performed a simple waltz, slowly moving around the stage. As a noble lady, Miss Louise had been taught how to dance well, so she was perfectly capable of keeping up with me. But after a few basic dance maneuvers, it was time to make it my own. I took Miss Louise into my arms, and then spun her in a circle around me. In her wake, I materialized a circle of ten knives facing outwards, slowly manipulating them to sway to the tune of the dance. Miss Louise and I twirled around more, and I generated more and more knives hovering in the air around us. As we glided across the stage, an entire field of over two hundred knives swayed and spun to the tune of our dance, as if they were a single cohesive liquid.

This dance was something I originally invented to help myself train, back when I first started experimenting with spacial manipulation. The dance was perfect for attempting to track the spacial location of a large number of objects, and a single miscalculation could shoot a sharp knife off wildly. I didn't realize its potential as entertainment until Mistress Remilia caught me one day training and enjoyed it. Since then I have performed it regularly, so there's little danger of me actually miscalculating a trajectory and killing someone.

I increased the speed and intensity of our dance, and Miss Louise was able to keep up. As we made our way through the field of knives, I moved them out of our way and spun them around us. Miss Louise was getting into it, and I saw a smile on her face as she disengaged from me and danced on her own. I manipulated the sea of knives so none would hurt her, and even moved them to mimic her movements. To the audience, it would seem as if she was actually affecting them. Our dance among my ocean of blades continued until it was time for the finale, and we both met back in the center of the stage.

Miss Louise and I interlocked our hands, and began to spin ourselves around. As we spun, I brought all of the knives into a sphere around us, and spun them around as well. I increased the speed of the knives to the point where the sound of the wind was audible, and the gust blew Miss Louise's hair around beautifully. As we increased the speed of our spin, the knives followed suit, until finally Miss Louise and I both stopped instantly, and I brought every knife in the air to a dead stop. The air was still and the audience completely silent. The seconds ticked by, and then I released my spacial grip on the knives and let all of them fall to the stage and embed themselves into the wood paneling.

After letting go of our hands, Miss Louise and I turned to the audience, and both gave a deep bow.

The crowd erupted into applause, more than any previous display had received. Miss Louise and I kept our bow for longer than we planned, and then raised ourselves to the cheers of the audience. I may be getting a bit carried away, but in my free hand I overtly snapped my fingers, and all of the knives sticking into the stage vanished instantly. This little trick breathed some more life into the audience, who began to clap with more vigor and Miss Louise and I bowed one last time before leaving the stage.

(What had actually happened, of course, is that as soon as I snapped my fingers I stopped time. It then took me about twenty minutes to pick up all of the knives, make sure I didn't accidentally damage any of them, and sheath them back in the pocket dimension on my thigh belt.)

As we re-entered the performers' tent, the other students approached Miss Louise and I. "That was so cool!" One boy said. "I was worried for a sec' at the beginning, but then it was really amazing."

"Yeah, definitely." Another shouted. Miss Louise was absolutely beaming with the praise, and I smiled along with her. It had definitely gone well. But the show must go on, so Miss Louise and I took our seats and quietly watched the rest of the show. The only other person who I recognized was Tabitha, the short, blue-haired girl who never looked up from her books. Her name had been announced by Professor Colbert, finally. In a rare moment, she was not holding any literature as she walked up onstage. When she was in the center, she whistled. Within moments, a gigantic blue dragon dropped out of the sky behind her and spread its wings wide. Tabitha then leaped onto the dragon's back, flew into the air and did various aerial acrobatics. It was even more well-received than my act was.

None of the acts after her were notable, and the excitement died down considerably. Finally, with one last student whose floating Evil Eye managed to frighten everybody by shooting lasers, the Familiar Debut was completed. After everyone had wrapped up, Princess Henrietta stepped down from her own platform and made her way over to the actual stage. Her guards surrounded her closely as they walked between the rows of chairs and onto the stage. Once she was onstage and I could see her clearly, I saw she had a small little gold crown in her hands. It was nothing compared to the tiara on her head, and looked like a trinket in comparison.

"It is with great pleasure that I can announce the winner of this year's Familiar Debut." The princess said, and paused to generate tension. "The winner is..."

"Tabitha, and her dragon Sylphid!"

The audience clapped, and Tabitha walked onstage. Princess Henrietta herself took the small gold crown and placed it on Tabitha's head, while Tabitha bowed respectfully.

"And with that, the Debut comes to a close. Thank you for coming, everyone." The voice of Colbert rang over some sort of magical loudspeaker, and the audience began to disperse.

…..

The Familiar Debut was held in the front courtyard, which was also the largest, and had attracted every student and professor. This meant that the rest of the campus had been deserted for the duration of the debut, which had been about two hours. Even though Henrietta's presence had increased the guard presence, they had gathered around the princess herself and did not wander off. Especially not to the back courtyard, or to a certain vault located in a nondescript section of the central keep. This left the aforementioned vault that held certain magical artifacts completely unguarded for the duration of the debut.

But the designers were not fools, for the vault was magically protected by the highest-security magical lock invented: A square-class four-element seal. So even though a certain thief tried to break into the vault while the rest of the people were distracted, there was no way the thief was actually able to break through the protection. Even when the thief summoned a massive, fifty-foot golem in the back courtyard to smash its way through the outer wall of the vault, the vault held firm. The protection of magical artifacts was no joke.

It was with a fearful hatred that the thief realized they had no choice but to give up for today. But unfortunately, attempting to smash through a wall left a literal mountain of evidence. And so it would not be long before the entire campus was aware of the attempted break-in.

The thief would have to re-plan accordingly.

…..

It had not even taken until dinnertime. It must have happened not four hours ago, while Miss Louise and I were performing our dance. And yet, despite the attempt to keep it secret by the professors, the entire school was already aware of the attempted break in. The rumor mill back in Gensokyo was unbelievably fast, but it was easy to track. They simply spread in the wake of the tengu. But I can't imagine what sort of network of relations between the students must have existed for information to spread this quickly.

"I hear the thief was actually Fouquet of the Crumbling Dirt!" Kirche exclaimed in a loud whisper to Miss Louise and Tabitha. The three of them were eating dinner together, while I stood behind Miss Louise as a diligent maid should. Miss Louise and Kirche were very engaging in the conversation, but Tabitha paid them no mind and read a small book instead of participating.

"No way, why would he come _here?" _Miss Louise said.

"Apparently the academy has a vault full of dangerous, magical artifacts."

"That's crazy! Why would they store stuff like that here?"

"Mah, who knows." Kirche said, and took another bite of her steak. I had trained the maids in the art of cutlery, although they still could not prepare a meal as well as I can. Miss Louise also took a bite during the brief pause in the conversation.

"So, are they out searching for Fouquet?" Miss Louise asked.

"I don't think so. It seems they are not sure if anything was stolen...they're checking the vault now to see if Fouquet managed to take anything."

Miss Louise put down her fork and stood up from the table. I didn't expect her to do that so soon, so I missed a beat before taking a few steps to approach her. Miss Louise rather loudly started speaking though. "We should be helping them!" She said, and began to leave the table.

"Miss Louise, have you finished your dinner?" I asked. Miss Louise looked at me, then back at her half-finished meal, and nodded.

"Come, Sakuya. We're going upstairs." Miss Louise said, and stomped off out of the dining commons. Kirche looked a little confused while Tabitha showed no emotion whatsoever. But after a few seconds Kirche got up too and ran after Miss Louise, while Tabitha followed reluctantly. So the group of Miss Louise, Kirche, Tabitha and I began to head towards the upper levels of the academy's central tower. We walked up the winding staircase that hugged the outer wall, which unfortunately made it a very long climb. Eventually we reached a door that was being guarded by a professor. Clearly the correct place to be.

"Excuse me!" Miss Louise shouted to the man, who looked at her suspiciously. "We're here to help."

"Er.." The professor started. "This isn't the place for children, you should head back-"

"I am a noble! It's a noble's duty to apprehend criminals, now stand aside." Miss Louise said again, and then forced her way past the professor. Before he had time to react, Miss Louise had already opened the door and taken a step inside. The poor professor couldn't do anything as the rest of our group forced our way into the room beyond.

It was a simple hallway. On the right wall were a few torches, and a few chairs scattered about. However, on the left wall was a huge door that reached from the floor to the ceiling. The arcane marks and patterns on the door clearly screamed "vault" even though I couldn't understand them. The door was large and heavy, and was pretty clearly supposed to be locked. However, right now it was wide open, and a swarm of the princess's guard was patrolling the area. When Miss Louise and the rest of us walked into the hallway, all of them drew their weapons at us. The only person who did _not _turn on us was the green-haired lady, Miss Longueville. She was carrying a large purple box under her arms.

"What are you four doing here?" Miss Longueville asked, and gestured for the guards to ease up. "This place is off limits."

"We want to help catch the thief." Miss Louise said, once again.

"Hmph, that is hardly something for the students to-" Miss Longueville started to say, but was interrupted.

"N-Now, now..." The old voice of Headmaster Osmond came from inside the vault. Following his voice, the man wearing a simple purple robe hobbled out from behind the vault door using his staff as a walking stick. "We need all the h-help we can get..."

"But sir!"

"No, Miss Longueville. These three are indeed aristocrats, and have a right to serve their country. T-Take them out on your search." Osmond said. I stared at the expression on Longueville's face, which was not pleased. It looked as if she had just been burdened with a terrible inconvenience. I suppose it is only natural to put oneself above the ability of mere students. But instead of fighting him further, Longueville just sighed.

"Yes sir..." She said, and began to walk towards us. "You four are coming with me, then. Meet me by the main gate in ten minutes." Longueville then passed by us and exited through the door, taking the giant purple box with her. Miss Louise looked pleased with herself, and Kirche smiled after being taken along for the ride. It was pretty late though—the sun was setting, and night would fall by the time we rode out. That did not seem to bother Miss Louise though, so I ignored it. I'm more capable during the night anyways.

The four of us quickly hurried down the stairs to meet Longueville by the carriage. When we reached her, we found her strapping the purple box, as well as some other supplies, to the cart. It was an open-top horse-drawn cart, meant more for the transport of goods than the transport of people. However, there were some boxes inside that acted as makeshift seating. We walked over to the cart, and Longueville waved us into the back. I offered to drive but she said I didn't know where to go, so I sat in the back next to Miss Louise.

And, just like that, we were off.

…..

Longueville drove the cart right into the forest, and the moonlight that filtered through the treetops didn't provide enough light to properly search by. Kirche took up the slack and cast a fire-elemental spell to generate torches. A dozen or so small balls of fire hovered around the cart, casting bright light into the darkness of the forest. If we got within a few hundred meters of the thief Fouquet, we would easily spot her. So even when we were on guard, it came as a surprise when we were ambushed.

The cart was riding at a medium pace when suddenly the ground erupted right below us, throwing the cart a few meters into the air. The spike of ground hit the side of the cart, turning it over. While the cart was still in mid-air, I grabbed Miss Louise and jumped clear. We hit the ground the same time as the cart, and I rolled to prevent Miss Louise from taking any damage. It hurt my back a bit, but if there is anything I am used to it is combat. A standard bail-out roll is something I've practiced. I released Miss Louise and helped her to her feet while we looked at the cart. It was upside-down and split in two down the middle. Kirche, Tabitha and Longueville were crawling out from the wreckage.

"GGGGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA" A loud roar echoed through the forest. I watched as the ground itself swelled up and reached at least fifty feet into the air a short distance away. The mountain of rock and dirt then began to form and shape into a humanoid figure. Arms sprouted out from the main body, which raised itself on two thick legs. Finally a small bump formed on top, and two dark holes caved in where eyes would be. After the monster fully formed, two red, glowing eyes appeared in its eye sockets. It was a frightening thing to look at, especially in the darkness of the night.

Miss Patchouli had formed some mud golems once upon a time, but they were made to look cute and took on the appearance of the mansion's residents. The thing I looked at now was nothing of the sort. It was nothing but dirt and rock piled on top of each other. No elegance, no class. Just a huge mass of intent-to-destroy. Loose gravel fell off of it as it roared at us. Kirche drew her wand and Tabitha drew her staff, summoning their familiars to them. Sylphid, the wind dragon, came down from the sky and the fire salamander appeared in a burst of flames next to Kirche's side.

"_Lucius Lee Lia Winnue." _Tabitha uttered with no hesitation, and brandished her staff at the monstrous golem. A tornado of wind burst from her staff and directed towards the face of the golem. The tornado hit its target dead-on, and the golem shook slightly. However, after the spell ended the golem was no worse for wear, and raised its fists in retaliation. Seeing this, Tabitha and Kirche both leaped onto Sylphid's back who flew into the sky right as the golem's fist came crashing down where they stood. The fist made contact with the remains of the cart, which was completely crushed.

"_Kaela Kazari!" _Kirche shouted, pointed her own wand at the golem from Sylphid's back. A cone of fire erupted and covered the golem's upper half completely. The flames lit up the area as if it was the daytime, but after the spell terminated the golem was unharmed. Although the two first strikes by Kirche and Tabitha were impressive looking, they managed to not help our situation at all. I turned to the third magician in our little party, Miss Louise.

"Ha!" Miss Louise shouted, and thrust her wand. I looked to see the target of her attack, and a small explosion occurred on the body of the golem. A bit of dirt seemed to be dislodged, but the golem reformed itself to make up for the loss. "Ha! Ha!" Miss Louise kept shouted while launching more mini-explosions, but it was just as ineffective as the other two. It seems like all three of them are completely useless. Although, I have no reason to criticize—knives can't do anything against this monstrosity.

The golem noticed us, and since it couldn't target Sylphid in the air, it attacked us instead. It raised its fist, and thrust it towards us. I grabbed Miss Louise and ran to dodge the attack. I cleared the impact zone, but the force of the hit shook the ground and almost caused me to lose my footing.

"Miss Louise, please fall back." I said. "You are not strong enough to defeat this thing."

"It doesn't matter." She shouted in return, over the roars of the golem. "I am a noble. Nobles do not run away in the face of adversity. They take it head on." Miss Louise fired more spells at the golem, which also proved to be useless. The golem's next response was to lift its leg and attempt to crush us underfoot. Seeing this, Miss Louise froze. However, I grabbed her and dodged the attack. Right as I cleared out of the way of the foot, the golem tried another punch. I kept hold of Miss Louise and ran frantically to avoid it. She was being a bit difficult, but I managed to put a small amount of distance between us and the golem.

As Miss Louise and I took stock of the situation, I saw Sylphid coming in for another attack. The dragon and its riders came in low and fast, Kirche brandishing her wand and Tabitha pointing her staff at the golem. I couldn't hear their incantations from this far away, but I saw a huge ball of flame shoot towards the golem, accelerated by the wind. A joint attack by Tabitha and Kirche, which slammed into the body of the golem and exploded. Dark smoke and bright flames decorated the side of the golem, with Miss Louise and I still standing there watching. Once the smoke cleared, we could see a sizable divot in the golem's chest. Sylphid pulled up and began to circle around for another run, however the divot began to fill in with dirt from the rest of the golem's body. The loss of ground was compensated from the earth itself, a virtually inexhaustible supply.

"Sakuya," Miss Louise shouted. "We have to destroy it completely in one shot. Otherwise it will just reform itself."

"Alright," I said and began to formulate a plan. Miss Louise looked up at me expectantly. After a moment I came up with something we could try. "We need to get onto Sylphid with the rest of our group."

Miss Louise nodded, as if she knew what to do. "KIRCHE! PICK US UP!" She shouted so loudly that I thought it would rupture my eardrums. I sighed to myself and then grabbed Miss Louise again, as the golem was coming after us. However, with my time manipulation I could outrun anything, and it was easy enough to run to a safe distance while Sylphid landed next to us. Kirche extended a hand to Miss Louise and pulled her up, while I climbed on manually. Sylphid was a large dragon, but four riders did seem to be its limit. Tabitha whispered in its ear, and it took off again.

"Listen," I said grabbing everyone's attention. "The best plan to destroy this thing is to blow it up from within. If Kirche can create a large enough fireball, and Tabitha can manipulate the wind to cause a large enough explosion, the golem will fall apart."

"You can't give a noble orders, maid!" Miss Louise shouted to me. "I am the one who-"

"Miss Louise," I interrupted. A cardinal sin for a maid. "I'm so sorry, but you do not have any battle experience. It is not the sort of thing you can learn only from books, and if you don't want to die tonight then I suggest that you _trust in me." _

Miss Louise held her tongue, and Kirche responded instead. "Tabitha won't be able to launch the fireball into the golem and also make it explosive enough." Ah, a tactical concern. I'm glad when someone can get on board. "Unlike the Tristainians," Kirche continued, "Germanians _are _experienced in battle."

"Don't worry, I can handle the acceleration of the fireball. All you two need to worry about is size and explosive force." I said.

"What can _you _do?" Kirche asked.

"Kirche, shut up and do it." Miss Louise shouted in my place. Kirche was taken a bit aback, but then nodded sternly and turned around to face forward. However, before we could move to attack, the dragon suddenly rolled to the left and I nearly fell off. A stone spike shot up from below and narrowly avoided piercing Sylphid's right wing. After avoiding the attack, Sylphid stabilized and I got a good look at the golem. We were out of reach of its limbs, but it apparently could shoot projectiles.

"Don't worry about the projectiles, I'll deflect them." I said. "Tabitha, just bring us in and prepare to attack. The sooner we do this the sooner we'll be safe." Kirche looked incredulous at my claim, but a glare from Miss Louise shut her up before she could speak.

Sylphid circled around to come in low again, while the golem shot spikes of various size and speed at us. When I saw one coming, I manipulated the space in its path to curve it away from the dragon. From the view of us on the dragon, it was like the spikes and the dragon were repelling each other. The golem didn't know how to correct its attacks in this instance, not that it could actually do anything against _altered space. _It shot more and more spikes at us, but they all flew harmlessly to the sides. Finally, Sylphid came down for our attack run.

"_Korin Korin Kaz Kaz Furiz." _Kirche chanted, and a large ball of flame appeared a meter in front of Sylphid's face. I was worried the dragon might be startled, but it held its speed and stability perfectly. Tabitha nodded at me, and I worked on the fireball. Altering the space around it to accelerate it was the exact same principle I used to fire off my knives, except on a larger scale. My knives usually took up no more than a foot of space, but the fireball was over a meter in diameter. Not outside my range of strength though, and the fireball shot towards the golem. As it rammed into the golem, it created a hole with its speed alone.

"_Wasshan." _Tabitha muttered quietly, and the fireball I had lodged into the golem exploded. Dirt and rock flew outwards from the golem and rained down on the rest of the forest. Boulders flung into trees and knocked them over while thick, black smoke filled the entire battlefield. Tabitha muttered something again, and the smoke blew away revealing the rubble of the golem. All that was left was the stubs from his legs.

"Wait, look!" Miss Louise pointed towards the golem rubble, and all of us focused on the spot. The dirt was starting to reform and reshape. The legs began to grow higher, and it looked like we were going to have to fight him all over again. Could it really regenerate to that degree? All four of us looked on with horror as the dirt piled up.

But then, as if it had simply given up, the dirt collapsed and the legs spread into loose sand. The forest had returned to a peaceful quiet, only broken by the sounds of Syphid's wings.

"W-What? Did we do it?" Kirche asked. However, Miss Louise looked a bit concerned.

"That golem was going to reform." She said gravely. "The only reason it didn't was because the owner decided not to, and released the spell."

"Does that mean Fouquet got away?" Kirche asked sadly. Miss Louise reluctantly nodded her head. "Dammit, we were so close!" Kirche said, and smashed her fist into her palm. Tabitha brought Sylphid down for a landing in the clearing that had been newly generated. The fifty-foot golem had toppled quite a number of trees during the battle.

"Excuse me, Miss Louise..." I said, "But where do you think Miss Longueville is?"

In a sudden realization, the three magicians looked at one another in horror at their forgotten comrade.

…..

_Two hours earlier._

"Sir, I really suggest we check the vault in case the thief took anything." Miss Longueville said.

"Ahh...Y-yes, that is a good idea..." The headmaster replied. He had then gathered the professors and the princess's guards who were still on campus to guard the vault while it was inspected. Only Miss Longueville, Osmond and Professor Colbert were actually allowed inside the vault to take inventory though. The guards were forced to stay outside in the hallway. Miss Longueville had taken one third of the room, Osmond another, and Colbert the last. The inside of the vault was large, and took up nearly the entire floor. Boxes stacked higher than a person's height littered the area, and it was like a library of objects. There were shelves in the middle of the floor, boxes on the floor stacked up to the ceiling, and papers scattered about.

When Longueville was sufficiently sure that the others were distracted by their search for missing items, she made her way over to her target. The infamous _Staff of Destruction, _fabled to be able to fall a dragon in a single strike. She quietly released the latch on the ornate purple case with golden lettering, and silently opened the lid. Inside she found a jade green cylinder made of some sort of metal. She lifted it out of the box, and found it was extremely heavy. However, it was able to be lifted, even for a petite woman like herself, and she carried it over to behind a few boxes. After making sure it was sufficiently concealed, she returned to the empty box.

After checking over her shoulder, and confirming that Osmond and Colbert were both still distracted, she etched a phrase into the stone wall above the now-empty box.

_I, the famous thief Fouquet of the Crumbling Earth, have stolen your Staff of Destruction! Don't worry, it will be put to good use!_

Longueville smiled at her handiwork for a moment. "Sir, I think I found something." She then shouted, and stepped out into the open. The headmaster and Colbert briskly walked towards her, and Longueville gestured towards the engraving she had just made.

"Oh no..." The headmaster said after seeing the words, and looking at the empty box. "This is bad..."

"How could he have possibly gotten in?" Colbert asked, but Osmond just shook his head.

"It doesn't matter how, he managed to steal the staff." Osmond responded, and then wandered out towards the guards in the hallway. They saw him and started to greet him before they saw the solemn look on his face.

"Whats wrong sir?" One of them asked.

"One of the artifacts h-has been stolen," Osmond said. "I-Inform the princess right away..."

The guards stiffened up, and then two of them ran off. There were still plenty of guards left in the hallway though, so the presence hadn't diminished. Henrietta had quite a lot of guards, as it turns out. As Osmond stood in contemplation in the hallway, Colbert walked up behind him.

"Do you really think Fouquet is still nearby?" He asked.

"I-I don't know, but he couldn't have gotten t-that far." Osmond said.

Meanwhile, Longueville had been left alone again with the empty box. When she was sure neither Osmond nor Colbert were close, she sneaked back to where she hid the staff behind a few boxes, and put it right back into the purple container it belonged in. She closed the lid and buckled the latch on the side while hefting the box into her arms. Then she walked out back into the hallway in full view of Colbert, Osmond and all of the guards. They saw her approach carrying the box.

"Don't worry, sir." Longueville said. "I'll personally see to it that the Staff is placed back in this box where it belongs." Longueville tapped the side of the box a few times with the palm of her hand as she carried it under her shoulder. Osmond nodded, which Longueville took as her cue to leave. However, just as she was getting ready to move, the door to the stairs slammed open and the little Valliere child stomped into the room.

_Oh great, now what? _Thought Fouquet of the Crumbling Dirt.


	5. Proof of Intelligence

_Gray Morality_

**Chapter 5  
Proof of Intelligence**

The aura trace spell was very intricate, and had a lot of specific markings that had to be drawn at very specific angles. Patchouli and Marisa had done exemplary work, and had gotten it right on the first try. The premise of the spell was that it picked up the "scent" of the target and then tracked it. It was more sophisticated than a dog's nose, but worked on essentially the same principle. Even if you could overcome three-dimensional Euclidean space with magic, it would still leave a _magical trail. _The tome Patchouli had referenced for composing the spell claimed that it could track someone "literally anywhere." It was time to put that claim to the test.

"According to this," Patchouli said reading from the book, "the spell will generate a value here and here." Patchouli pointed to two blank spots on the chalkboard which were surrounded by strange markings and etchings. "They will be the direction and distance from the base point, which is this spot here we placed the maid's blood."

Marisa nodded in agreement. "It's gunna be super cool, trust us. Any second now." She said. Remilia crossed her arms, and the group waited for the results to come in. And, like clockwork, not a minute later a number slowly wrote itself out in the first empty space on the chalkboard. A few seconds later, the second number wrote itself out. It wasn't quite as 'super cool' as Marisa claimed, but it was definitive evidence. Marisa excitedly looked at the results as they came in, but then her face went white as she saw them.

"No...way..."

…_.._

"I'm so sorry we let the dreaded thief Fouquet escape," said Miss Louise, reporting to Headmaster Osmond and Princess Henrietta. We were back in the principal's office, but the princess had taken over Osmond's desk and he instead sat on a chair nearby. Miss Louise and I, with Kirche and Tabitha, were currently explaining the night's events. It had taken us until two in the morning to walk all the way back to the academy, but it was abnormally active for being so late. Most of the professors were still awake, the princess's guard was scrambling around, and a handful of students were up wanting to be a part of the action. The maids were nowhere to be seen though; they must be enjoying their night off from training.

"And Miss Longueville...?" Headmaster Osmond said slowly and carefully, asking us about what had happened to her. She was his secretary after all, and from the look on his face he seemed to be fond of her.

"I-I'm sorry..." Miss Louise continued, while Kirche shifted her gaze to the side in shame. "We couldn't find her..."

"Most likely she was trapped under the rubble of the cart and was crushed to death by the golem." I clarified. It was important to properly make a report, and it was a maid's job to help her master with it if they were struggling. Osmond winced at my statement, and drooped his head. The princess also looked solemn.

"So..." Henrietta said. "Fouquet stole the _Staff of Destruction, _committed murder and then managed to flee."

"I'm so sorry princess! I'll...I'll go back out again, and find her. I won't let-"

"Don't bother." Henrietta interrupted. "By now, Fouquet is long gone. There's no use in a rushed manhunt anymore, our window of opportunity has closed. I thank you three for your service, despite the unfavorable outcome. You are dismissed."

Kirche, Tabitha and Miss Louise bowed to the princess, and then began to leave the principal's office. The conversation was shameful, with a lot of apologizing and asking for forgiveness. It was a bit strange to see Miss Louise humble herself so greatly and claim such responsibility for her actions. All that I was familiar with insofar was her deflecting to her go-to excuse of calling the commoners stupid.

"Ah, Louise Francoise, if you would hold on." The princess added before Miss Louise walked out the door. Kirche and Tabitha turned their heads in curiosity, but then left when it was clear they were no longer needed. Miss Louise turned around, and walked back to in front of the desk where she was standing earlier. I retook my position standing behind her, although a bit more closely this time.

"Yes, princess?" Miss Louise asked hesitantly, fearing a reprimand of some kind.

"I would like you and your familiar to come to the capital with me tomorrow."

"Eh? But why?" Miss Louise asked. Henrietta just shook her head though.

"I will explain the details on the ride, if you are willing to come."

"O-Of course, your highness. Anything for you." Miss Louise said quickly, desperate to please the princess. Was that a calculated exchange of favor and reputation on the princess's part, or was it just coincidence? Most people, after explaining to a superior in detail how they failed, would jump at the chance to prove their worth. It let the superior essentially make them do _anything. _A clever tactic in manipulation, although Henrietta doesn't seem the type.

"I'm happy to hear that." She said with a smile. "Now go get some rest, the carriage will leave at dawn."

Miss Louise bowed, and then we left the office. We walked in silence down the stairs, through the covered hallway that sliced through the courtyards, and back into Miss Louise's dormitory. I prepared her a bath when we arrived, and undressed her. It had been a very long day, and I knew she was exhausted. I made sure the temperature of the water was perfect, and then led her in. It was quicker than her usual baths, and she hobbled out of the bathroom drying herself off after only five minutes or so.

"Miss Louise, was something wrong?"

"Noo...I'm just tired..." Miss Louise said, and then shuffled over to the bed and threw herself down on it without even putting on her pajamas.

"Miss Louise...?"

No response. She was asleep already. I could hardly blame her though, she had woken up early and performed in the Familiar Debut with me during the day. Then after dinner we had ridden off and fought a fifty foot tall rock golem, before coming back to the academy at two in the morning to explain our failure. I softly removed Miss Louise's towel from around her waist and lightly dried her off while she slept. Then, I took her sleeping gown and put it on her, before tucking her under the covers. All while she was asleep, of course. It would not be good for her to get an improper night's sleep, especially if she will be with the princess tomorrow.

…..

Miss Louise stirred lightly, rolled over, stirred some more, and then finally rose from her slumber. She sat up, and rested against her pillow rubbing the crust from her eyes.

"Good morning, Miss Louise. Did you have a nice rest?" I greeted her with enthusiasm. I had also slept.

"Yeah...how long was I out for...?" She said, and I looked down at my pocket watch.

"Eleven hours, twelve minutes." I said.

"What?" Miss Louise shouted. "But the princess-!" Miss Louise began to say, but then looked out the window. The sky was just beginning to lighten, that time before dawn begins but after night ends. She ruffled her brow, and then looked at me angrily. "You tricked me!"

"I would do no such thing, Miss Louise. You were asleep for eleven hours and twelve minutes."

"But it's not even dawn yet. We were talking with the princess not three hours ago." She said agitated, although still a bit sleepy.

"Correct."

"..." Miss Louise sat in silence staring at me. She then shook her head side to side. "It's too early for this crap."

I smiled. "I will prepare your breakfast right away, Miss Louise. We should go meet the princess before the hour is up."

Miss Louise nodded, so I dressed her and then walked her to the kitchen. The maids were just beginning to stir, and we found Siesta was wandering around the kitchen when Miss Louise and I walked in. She was only wearing her pajamas though, so was clearly off duty. When she saw us enter, she looked a little embarrassed and shameful.

"Uwah, C-Chief, I-I-I'm sorry I'm not in my uniform!"

"Do not worry about it, it is earlier than the students should be up. Although..." I said, and looked at Siesta's night gown. It was pink and had little bunny rabbits and carrots stitched into it. "Aren't you embarrassed to wear that?"

Siesta looked down at her clothes, and then her face took on a brilliant shade of red. She pouted and then scurried back to her room while I made my way over to the cooking tools. I made Miss Louise a quick breakfast, a simple plate of scrambled eggs and fresh fruit, which she hungrily devoured. In fact, I made her seconds when I realized how hungry she was. While she was working on her second helping, Siesta walked back into the kitchen wearing her maid uniform. When she saw me, I nodded to her and we both went back into the dorms to leave Miss Louise to eat in peace.

"Better." I told her once we were alone, but she just averted her eyes. "By the way, Siesta, Miss Louise and I will be leaving today and I do not know when we will return."

"Eh? Is that so..." Siesta said.

"Yes. As such, I cannot train the maids. But I expect you to practice what I have taught you, and if you do not show improvement in the time I will be gone I will punish you for it. Understand?" I said and drew a cruel smile over my face.

"Y-Yes, Chief." Siesta said fearfully. "I'll tell the others, I swear."

"See to it that you do." I returned back to the kitchen to find Miss Louise finishing her meal.

"Sakuya," Miss Louise spoke up. She placed her fork and knife down on the now-empty plate in front of her. "I'm finished. Let's go."

"Right away, Miss Louise." I said, and followed her out of the kitchen. Miss Louise hurried towards the main gate of the academy with me following behind her. When we got near I saw the vehicles in the princess's progression—the two plain carriages and one ornamental one, and the horses and fully armored riders who would be in front and back. The princess was standing among her guards, conversing with one of them in a lighthearted conversation. I couldn't make out what they were discussing, but they seemed close.

As we approached, the princess spotted us and gave us a little wave. Miss Louise hastened her pace until we reached her, and then gave a respectful bow. "Good morning, your highness." Miss Louise said.

"Good morning, Louise Francoise." The princess said in return. "Allow me to introduce you to the captain of my personal guard, Agnes Chevalier de Milan."

The woman named Agnes straightened up at the annunciation of her name. She had short, yellow hair and wore a white cloak with blue body armor. It was not a heavy plate, but instead a fitted vest built for mobility. She had a narrow look on her face, and with the sword at her side and pistol on her hip I could tell she was ready to defend the princess at a moment's notice. She gave a short bow to Miss Louise, and then stood up straight again. Her gaze shifted to me, and I noticed that she looked my body up and down before tensing up. Ahaha, she noticed didn't she?

Miss Louise nodded to Agnes, and then turned back to the princess. "So...if I may ask, why did you ask us to accompany you, princess?"

"Now now, Louise, we can save that for the trip. We'll need _something _to talk about." Henrietta said and then laughed lightly. "It will be you, your familiar, Agnes and me in my personal carriage."

"Your highness," Agnes said, "I cannot allow this maid into the carriage with you."

"W-Why not?" Miss Louise stammered angrily. "She's my familiar, she goes where I go."

The princess looked at Agnes with concern and confusion on her face. "Why do you say that, Agnes?"

"She is armed."

The princess and Miss Louise looked shocked and turned towards me. I just smiled in response. I may not have any particular fondness for humans, but I must confess Agnes has shown herself so far to be capable. A fine first impression indeed. Although recognizing when someone is armed is the first lesson for becoming a security guard, it's still impressive to see someone pull it off. I try so hard to conceal them too.

"Are you really?" The princess asked me. I nodded, and then decided to lift up the left half of my skirt slightly and reveal my thigh. Strapped to it was a belt that had eight thin throwing knives latched on, and I saw honest surprise on her face when I flashed it to her. I dropped my skirt back down, concealing the deadly weapons and preserving my modesty.

"There's more than that." Agnes said rudely, and pointed a finger at my torso. "You're concealing blades all over your body."

"Yes, I am indeed." I said. "I am always armed. If it would please you and Miss Louise I could strip down naked and you could remove all weapons from my body, but it will not do you any good. I am always within reach of a blade, no matter what. I would never compromise my personal safety or the safety of my master by disarming myself completely. Only a fool would do such a thing."

Agnes narrowed her gaze even further. "Then you understand why I cannot let you near the princess."

"Intimately, but unfortunately it is not our call to make. Servants like us, we can only give suggestions, we cannot give orders." I said, and turned to Miss Louise and Henrietta. The princess took this as her cue to speak.

"That's enough. I trust Louise Francoise, so by extension I trust her familiar. You will be in the carriage too, Agnes, so if it worries you just keep a good eye on her." Henrietta said, and Agnes sighed in disappointment. The security guard's lament: No matter how much protection they offer, if the client simply runs into danger the guard cannot do more than mitigate the damage.

Agnes reluctantly let me into the carriage, and the four of us sat down inside while we waited for the progression to start moving. It was extremely comfortable, and no expense had been spared to build it. There were soft cushions on the seats with gold and silver trims running along the walls. The floor was even carpet. The princess sure knew how to travel in style, that's for sure. Our seating arrangement was Miss Louise and I on one side while the princess and Agnes on the other, facing each other. The interior of the carriage seemed large enough to accommodate up to six people, so with only the four of us it was very roomy. After five minutes of waiting, the princess's progression finally started moving.

…..

"Well, I suppose there is no reason to delay any further." The princess said after about ten minutes into our journey. The ride from the capital to the academy apparently was to take about three hours, so there was plenty of time to waste. Miss Louise perked up and listened more intently. "I need your help, Louise Francoise."

"Of course, anything for you, princess!" She said right away. Henrietta smiled.

"Well, I will soon be implementing a...let's call it a new policy in Tristain. It's in response to claims that the aristocrats are harassing the commoners, threatening them, humiliating them, and generally acting oppressive towards them. This is not something I wish to promote in my country."

"That's horrible." Miss Louise said. "It's the duty of a noble to be a role model, not abusive."

Henrietta nodded. "I am hoping to implement this policy to reduce this sort of behavior, but I want to make sure the reports are true before doing so. This is where you come in, Louise Francoise. I want you to go undercover in the capital to find out if the commoners really are being treated poorly."

"Eh..? Ah, er, of course, your highness." Miss Louise said with a bit of confusion in her tone. "What exactly should I do?"

"Blend in as a commoner. Gather intelligence on how the commoners are treated by the aristocracy. The people will be more open with their equals than anyone else, so it's best if you pretend you are one of them. I'm sure you could ask your familiar for advice on specifics."

I smiled at Miss Louise, who looked up at me in condescension. "Alright, your highness, I would be glad to take this mission." She then said with more enthusiasm.

"Thank you so much," Henrietta said. "I'll reimburse you for any money you spend, of course."

And within a few minutes the discussion of our mission was complete. Go undercover as a commoner, extract intelligence on noble oppression, and report to the princess. Pretty simple stuff, really. Which left about two hours and forty-five minutes left of our trip to sit here in awkward silence and stare at the plains as they rolled by.

Not ten minutes went by before the princess broke the silence. "So, Miss Familiar, where are you from?" She asked me. I turned to Miss Louise, who nodded. An indication that I should answer truthfully.

"Gensokyo." I answered.

"What sort of place is that?"

"It's..." I started, and began describing the world of Gensokyo. I described how the Scarlet Devil Mansion stood tall among the forest, and how the Misty Lake shined when the morning sun glistened off of the surface. How the fairies played around the lake, and bothered our poor gate guard who had no choice but to be dragged along. I described the world of Hakugyokuro, the staircase leading up to the eastern-style mansion, protected by the lone half-person clad in green. And then the bamboo forest, a thicket that could disorient even the most skilled adventurer. And the mansion deep in the forest, home of the runaway Lunarians. The dreadful Sanzu river. The Youkai Mountain. The realm of the celestials, even the underground palace. I rattled on and on, and I soon found I was no longer speaking to Miss Louise and the company. I was just remembering. Remembering where I live, where my real home is. I stopped speaking and thought of my mistress and my home. How I miss them.

"Wow...that's really...unbelievable..." The princess said, bringing me back from my thoughts. I looked and saw the expressions on everyone's face was that of wonder and amazement. I guess I was especially vivid in my description.

"More than unbelievable." Miss Louise said. "Do you expect me to believe that you can just _walk on over to Death and say hi?" _

"Ah, well it's not that simple, Miss Louise. You can only cross the river once you've died, and the Hakugyokuru-"

"Gah!" Miss Louise interrupted. "I just can't accept that."

"I agree with Miss Valliere." Agnes chimed in. "None of that sounds remotely possible."

I turned from Miss Louise to Agnes, who both had skeptical looks in their eyes. The only one in this carriage who seemed to be...gullible enough to take me at my word was Henrietta. Funny how that gullibility leads her to be the only one who knows and accepts the truth. The rest of the trip consisted of talk of meaningless things, and very few questions had been asked of me about Gensokyo. There was an interesting moment where we had to divert to another road because of flooding, but it only added on twenty minutes to our trip. Before long, we had reached the capital.

The capital city of Tristain was an impressive sight from far away. The carriage was closed and only had windows on the side, so it was not easy to see, but it was impressive nonetheless. A low wall circled the city with rows upon rows of rooftops visible above. Scattered sporadically throughout the city were tall towers, and in the center of it all was a thick keep surrounded by smaller towers and buildings. It was a castle to be sure, and it stood apart from the city in a strange way. It rose above the rest of the houses, and yet seemed to shelter them. The city was larger than the human village in Gensokyo by far, and I had never seen such a gathering of human beings in one place. It caught me off guard, to a degree.

The progression of the princess marched on, past the city gates and right up to the castle's entrance. The carriage finally stopped, and the four of us disembarked. A maid came over to attend to Henrietta, while Miss Louise approached her to talk. Agnes, on the other hand, stared at me with studious eyes. Let her—I am used to being monitored.

"Princess, I'll get on my mission for you right away." Miss Louise said with enthusiasm. I smiled and stepped up to stand behind her.

"Thank you, Louise Francoise. If you need me, you can return to the castle at any time of course. My guards will let you in."

Miss Louise bowed deeply to Henrietta, who laughed and then turned to retreat back into her home. The castle was about the same size as my mistress's mansion, although it was certainly sturdier. The walls of Tristain Castle looked ready to withstand anything. The Scarlet Devil Mansion, on the other hand, fell victim to the explosions of the black and white so often that I honestly had pity for the building. As I brooded over my love of inanimate objects, Miss Louise turned to face me and got my attention.

"Okay Sakuya." Miss Louise said. "Let's gather intel." How very secret agent of her.

"As you wish, Miss Louise. Where shall we begin?"

"Er..." Miss Louise said, and then turned her head to the side. That was discouraging. Miss Louise has absolutely no plan on how to go about this, does she? She just blindly accepted the princess's request. How did she ever manage to function without having a maid such as I to assist her?

"Miss Louise, I would suggest first purchasing commoner's clothes to blend in."

"Hmph, I didn't need someone like _you _to tell me that."

"Of course, Miss Louise." I said, and then followed Miss Louise as she stomped off to the capital. After no small amount of wandering around in circles—Miss Louise insisted she knew exactly where we were going, even after she doubled back, then doubled back again—we finally ended up in the market district. I inadvertently got a fairly decent mental map of the capital out of Miss Louise's wanderings, so it wasn't all bad. Most of the capital was purely residential and not terribly crowded, but the market district was clearly a major gathering spot. There was a long stretch of wide road, with carts and tents set up with vendors selling a wide range of goods. Most of it was fruits and vegetables, but there were also potters, florists, tailors, you name it. On the side of the road were real buildings, but they also served as shops, albeit more established. As Miss Louise and I walked down the market road, one such shop caught my eye.

The store was subtle, which is why I paid more attention to it. Its wares were not displayed in a window or advertised, and instead a simple sign hung from above the door. It was a picture of a sword, and the sign hung loosely from its fixture as if a strong breeze could blow it over. I slowed my pace to get a better look at the interior through the door, but it was dimly lit and I couldn't see well. However, Miss Louise had noticed my hesitation and turned around to see what I was looking at.

Miss Louise stared at the shop, then back at me. "What in the Founder's name is fascinating you so much about that run-down store?" She asked.

"Miss Louise, I'm sorry for being distracted." I apologized quickly, and lowered my head. However, Miss Louise gestured for me to raise.

"I'm supposed to be blending in as a commoner, you stupid maid. Commoners don't have maids, so don't act like one."

"Miss Lo—er, I mean, Louise, I'll do that then until we're done." I said, and Miss Louise nodded.

"Let's go in then." She said, and waltzed into the store.

I looked around as we entered. The construction was made entirely of wood, and the planks holding everything together were dark, discolored and improperly nailed together. Shelves lined the walls but were amateurish, and I was a bit worried that some of them were about to collapse. The walls provided no windows, and only a few candles scattered about the room provided light. There were tall shelves down the center of the room, limiting the spread of light further. And on these shelves were blades.

Swords, knives, daggers, axes, and a plethora of other weapons overflowing, piling up on the floor below. There were wooden barrels stuffed with as many swords that could fit, there were boxes that had knives carelessly tossed in until they were at the brim, and broken blades were all over the floor, mostly brushed into the corners. I passed by a box that had only ax heads in it, and another for just hilts. Mounted on the wall were various weaponry that was of clearly higher quality than the rest, designed for a single purpose: to kill. The weapons on the wall were not ornate and beautiful, but raw and powerful. This store supplied blades for killing. Not sport, not show, but killing.

I felt right at home.

Miss Louise seemed oblivious to the atmosphere that was being cultivated in this place, and strolled right up to the shopkeeper. He was a thin man with a scar going down his right cheek. Although we were technically supposed to be undercover, Miss Louise was still wearing her school uniform and thus was _clearly _an aristocrat. But that didn't stop her. And the keeper didn't stop her either—I saw the glint in his eye as he recognized a potential high-paying customer.

"Ha ha." The man smiled and put on the charm. "What are two beautiful girls like yourselves doing in a raggedy ol' place like this?"

"This person likes swords, or knives or something." Miss Louise said suddenly. "So get me the best in the shop!" The man smiled even wider.

"Alright, one sec, I got just the thing." He said, and then retreated back into the rear of the store. I, on the other hand, had no idea what was going on, so I stepped closer to Miss Louise.

"Louise," I whispered in her ear, "What are you doing?"

"I am buying my familiar a present." She whispered back. "Be grateful, plebeian."

A...present? Me? I don't know how to respond to that. Before I could formulate my thoughts, the shopkeeper returned holding something completely over the top. It looked to be made of solid gold, blade and hilt, with bright purple gemstones inlaid into the hand guard. It was significantly different than the rest of the blades in the store, and I seriously doubted it had the killing potential of them. It looked like something you hung on the wall to impress guests, not something you use to kill people with. Although that is probably exactly what this man was trying to sell to Miss Louise.

"Like it, huh? That's pure Germanian steel, crafted by the master swordsmith..." The shopkeeper spoke, but I stopped paying attention as he recited his rehearsed spiel about how wonderful the sword was. Miss Louise was absolutely taken, of course.

"And for you, little lady, I'll sell it for only 3000 gold."

Miss Louise didn't look so happy about that.

"You could buy a house for that much!" She complained.

"A good sword is worth more than a mansion, little girl."

"Uuuu~" Miss Louise complained, so I put my hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me with a bit of dejection and a bit of confusion on her face. I don't think she planned on spending that much. But it hardly matters because I would never allow her to purchase something so pathetically useless in real combat.

"I am a knife user, not a swordswoman." I clarified, rejecting the man's offer. He looked depressed, and placed the Germanian sword under the counter and returned to the storeroom. After another minute, he brought out his next piece of merchandise. I expected some sort of scam again, so I was wary. And yet, the instant he set it down on the table, I was taken with it.

It was a large split-blade dagger. The two blades were wicked and sharpened to such an extreme degree I was almost nervous to get near it, and it glistened with a strange blue hue as the candlelight bounced off of it. The hilt and cross guard were metallic, with groves in it to be more comfortable on the user. I hesitated a moment, before grasping it in my hands to test it out. As I gripped my fingers around it, the runes on my hand began to glow.

MAGIC.

_INTELLIGENT ITEM – Split-blade dagger ELVENSLAYER._

_Communication: Vocal._

_Knife usage – Magical Absorption. Magical offensive types of FIRE, EARTH, WIND, WATER can be absorbed through the blade of the weapon. Radius of absorption is two meters. Approximate willpower absorption value: 74000._

_Knife usage – Teleportation. Knife consciousness controlled spell; can teleport adjacent objects MEDIUM overworld distance; 1000 meters._

_Knife usage – Jump. Knife consciousness can JUMP between bladed weaponry; target must be WEAPON as defined via code GANDALFR._

_Blade history. Left incisor forged by—_

I dropped the knife violently back onto the counter and grasped my hand. Miss Louise and the shopkeeper looked startled, but it didn't concern me. What the hell just happened? Something invaded my thoughts, and started spilling out information. And those runes on my hand, they started glowing. I stared at the runes as the glow slowly faded away back to their original state. I stared back at the knife on the table, which looked innocent enough.

Something was very wrong here.

"Aha, I felt that 'sis." A male voice said. But it wasn't the shopkeeper. Miss Louise and I looked around to try to find the source of the noise, while the shopkeeper just buried his face in his hands.

"I'll never be able to sell this thing..." He muttered to himself, and slouched down. Miss Louise and I then looked back at the knife.

"Yup! It's me, the knife. Name's Derflinger. Nice to meet ya, missies." The knife said.

The _knife _said.

Miss Louise seemed wholly unperturbed about this turn of events.

"You should buy me. Shopkeeper's been trying to pawn me off for about 300 gold, I bet you can negotiate him down to 150!" Said the knife.

The knife was trying to sell itself.

The shopkeeper looked like he had given up. Miss Louise raised her eyebrows, and then looked at me as if I was supposed to have any idea of what to do. A lot of the danger centers of my brain were telling me to just ignore it and leave. Things that invaded the privacy of your mind were usually bad news, and they should be destroyed. And as I stared at the twin blades of the knife, the metal hilt shining from the flickering candlelight, I knew there was only one thing that I could do.

"We'll take it."

…..

The shopkeeper had grabbed the knife ungracefully, shoved it into a sheath and then handed off to me while Miss Louise paid 150 gold coins. I hesitated to grab it again, but I finally did and let it all flow. All of that information. The runes on my hand lit up, and everything I could ever want to know about the knife I held in my hand came to me. I knew where it was forged, when it was forged, what exactly it could do, the magical properties it held, _everything. _I knew how to use it perfectly. And as I held it steady in my arm, a latch on the cross guard began to move up and down on its own.

"Hey, you know how to hold me well, missy." The knife said, using the latch as a mouthpiece. I knew this _could not _be how it actually spoke, but I decided to suspend my disbelief for the moment. It was probably just magic anyways.

"So, who are you?" Miss Louise asked it. We had left the shop, and headed down an empty alleyway away from the market road for some privacy.

"Derflinger. I already said that." The knife responded.

"Okay, but why are you a knife?" Miss Louise asked again. "Intelligent items are usually cursed humans, doomed to live out their days as some significant item to them."

"I'm a knife because four years ago some idiot smashed me on a rock. I used to be a _kick ass sword, _you know." Derflinger really didn't answer the question Miss Louise had asked him, and I saw Miss Louise's frustration boiling. I tried to calm her down, and prevent her shaking fists from making contact with the speaking dagger. It would hurt her more than it hurt it.

"What about before that, Derflinger?" I asked it.

"Bah, who knows. I don't bother remembering much that far back."

That answers that question. Or, rather, it really doesn't.

"We're gunna have some great times, us three." The knife then declared.

I guess I'll take his word for it.


	6. Robespierre Would be Proud

_Gray Morality_

**Chapter 6  
Robespierre Would be Proud**

"No...way..."

The four of them—Remilia, Marisa, Patchouli and Koakuma—stared at the markings that had become visible on the chalkboard. The strings of numbers that appeared in the distance and direction areas of the aura trace spell that was to find Sakuya.

"Er," Remilia spoke, the first one who broke the silence. "What exactly does that notation mean?"

Patchouli didn't turn towards Remilia, and answered while staring at the number. "It's referred to as _scientific notation, _and it is used to express extremely large numbers in a condensed space."

"Okay...so, how far away is Sakuya then?" Remilia asked. The strange notation was under the "distance" entry. The direction entry had read "(11.5,156.1)" although Remilia had no idea what it meant. Presumably some sort of unit to express three-dimensional direction.

"She's real far away." Marisa said. "Like, way farther than we could possibly imagine."

"That's right." Patchouli said. "If this spell is correct, the maid is at least a hundred trillion miles away. At that range the spell becomes vastly inaccurate, I can't say for sure."

"What?" Remilia yelled. "That's absurd." She was not amused. Sure, the spell gave her more information, but it was not good information. All that Remilia learned from it is that it would not be so trivial to just go and pick Sakuya up. It would require substantially more effort, and that angered her.

"Can we use some sort of scry?" Remilia asked, and plopped back down into one of the chairs.

"Sorry, but the precision on this spell ain't nearly high enough. It wasn't meant to track things _this _far."

"Well, how about-"

"Ha~llo~" A voice rang throughout the library, interrupting Remilia. Everyone turned their heads to find the source of the voice, and then with a loud zipping sound, a gap opened up in midair next to the group. A rip in space itself, and through it a thousand eyes could be seen, staring at anyone who looked inside. Out of the gap emerged Yukari Yakumo, the gap youkai, the border manipulator, and the protector of Gensokyo's border.

"Well well well, what do you guys think you are doing to my precious border of Gensokyo~?"

…..

"You cannot possibly expect me to wear this." Miss Louise said, looking in a mirror in her new garments.

"I think you look cute, Miss Louise." I said with a satisfied look on my face. She blushed.

"S-S-Stupid maid, don't say that..." She said, and then held the hem of her skirt down while fiddling with the laces on the stark white maid uniform she had put on. We were in the tailor's shop in the market district, and I jokingly handed her a maid uniform to try on with the rest of the clothes. To my surprise, she actually put it on. It fit better than I predicted.

"Yeah, you look cute, missy." Derflinger commented. I had attached him at my hip, replacing one of the knives I already had. My maid uniform was specially designed to conceal a myriad of weapons, so it was no trouble fitting Derflinger into it. When he spoke, he popped out of his sheath and out of one of the folds in my uniform so that people could see who was speaking, but when he was silent he was also unseen.

"If you're not too embarrassed to wear it, Miss Louise, I think it would be the best option."

"Don't be ridiculous, I am perfectly fine wearing something like this!" She protested, although the flush red blush on her face told a different story. But as Miss Louise's perfect and elegant maid, I pretended not to notice such a thing.

"Excellent, Miss Louise."

Miss Louise, caught into a bit of a corner by her own arrogance, had no choice but to bring the maid uniform up to the register and buy it from the tailor. He allowed us to borrow a private stall so that I could dress up Miss Louise and properly fit the uniform. It was a pretty high quality uniform, but easily affordable for an aristocrat such as Miss Louise. After she was fully clothed in the white maid's uniform, I admired my handiwork and then led her out of the store back into the market district.

As we emerged from the store, Miss Louise stepped out and put her hands on her hips. No one paid her any mind whatsoever. Ah, the illusion was working. Miss Louise turned around and faced me.

"Alright, Sakuya. Mission go!"

…..

"..."

"..."

The sun was setting over the horizon, a few hours after we purchased Derflinger and the maid uniform. We both sat by a large fountain in the middle of the town square, watching the commoners go about their daily business. It was near suppertime, so most of the people would be returning home to their families at about this point. Miss Louise and I, however, simply sat next to the fountain with dejected looks on our faces.

We hadn't really made any progress on the mission for the princess. We had bumbled around from place to place throughout the day, but Miss Louise was too blunt and too impatient. No one would speak to her about the wrongdoings of the nobility so readily.

As the sun began to set, and Miss Louise's motivation with it, I noticed the figure of a man walk towards the fountain. Well, it was _technically _a man. However, he was wearing nothing but a light tank top and mini-shorts, with an absurd amount of makeup on his face. He walked in such an over-the-top, stereotypical lady-like fashion, which was incredibly jarring when compared to his bulging muscles and huge masculine figure. My worst fears were realized when I noticed he was not simply walking towards the fountain, but approaching _us _specifically.

"Tres Bien~ You little lambs look lost~!" He said in a cute little voice that did not match his figure in any way, shape or form. It was unfitting for a man of his size. And gender. Miss Louise and I just stared at him, dumbstruck.

"You cute little lambs will get lost out here at night~ Why not come to my humble little cafe~" He proposed. I turned my head to look at Miss Louise to see if she would agree. One of the first lessons a kid learns is that you never follow strange men into their homes. And this person was the definition of strange. But Miss Louise apparently never learned that lesson, because she nodded her head in agreement. I applaud her for it, though. If I never dove headfirst into possible danger, I never would have met Remilia.

"Tres bien~! Wonderful!~" The man exclaimed in excitement, and beckoned us to follow him. He led us to a street at the edge of the market district, a far distance away from the main market road but still in an area with shops and such. He led us to a two-story building with a signboard fixed above the door reading "_The Charming Fairy Inn," _according to Miss opened the door, and led us inside.

It looked to be a restaurant. There were circular tables scattered around the center of the room with square ones against the walls. At the opposite wall of where we came in, there was a long counter top in front of a wall filled with wines and beer. There was a large window in the back wall, behind which I could see a functioning kitchen. There were no customers at the moment, but a lot of staff members. As Miss Louise and I walked in, a line of waitresses greeted us, all of them in skimpy outfits. What kind of operation was this guy running?

"Alright, everybody~! We have two new beautiful waitresses, so treat them well~!" The man announced to the staff. I bowed down, and grabbed Miss Louise by the back of the head and forced her to bow down, too. I never would manhandle her normally, but we were undercover and she needed help. I couldn't appear to be her subordinate, or anything.

"I am Sakuya, and this is Louise. Please treat us kindly." I said. The waitresses welcomed us warmly, and then turned back to their duties. They were cleaning up the restaurant, organizing the tables and such. They seemed to be preparing for an evening rush, if my judgment is accurate.

"And I am Scarron~" The man said, and bowed back much more extravagantly than I did. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask moi~" And with that, Scarron fled into the back room through a door on the wall. Miss Louise got up and then looked at me rudely. I shrugged, took her hand and led her to the kitchen. It had all gone pretty fast, but it seems that we were now employees here. When we were in the kitchen, I asked for the head chef or head waitress or however the system was organized. A woman stepped forward.

"I'm Jessica. Basically I am the manager." She said. She wore a green, humble dress and did not seem to be in any hurry to change into one of the standard, much skimpier waitress uniforms. "It looks like you two already have your own uniforms, so your job is to simply wait on people. I assume you know how to do that."

"Of course," I answered and turned to smile at Miss Louise. She had no idea, of course, but she was quick enough on the uptake.

"What kind of maid doesn't know how to wait on people?" She said loudly and proudly, and put her hands on her hips. The humbleness is not with this one, I see.

"Well, we open in twenty minutes. Go over our menu while you wait." Jessica ordered, and then turned back to sort dishes. And sure enough, twenty minutes later the doors opened and customers began to file in. It filled up surprisingly quick, actually. _The Charming Fairy Inn _must be pretty popular, although the customers were of a single demographic: middle-aged men. I suspected it from before, but this establishment must be one of _those _types of places.

"Pour me some of that wine," A man called out to me from a table. I bowed slightly, and then went over to the bar to grab a bottle of some such wine. I have no idea still what wines were "good" and "bad," but the wine was organized by price so I could estimate its quality.

"Here you are, sir." I said and leaned over to pour the man some wine. Gracefully, with a hint of eroticism. This man was a disgusting human, but a maid must do her duty to the fullest at all times. This was essentially an extension of serving Miss Louise: helping her to fulfill her mission. The man didn't even try to hide that he was staring at my breasts, but I ignored it. After I poured his drink, I slightly brushed his arm as I left. A trick I picked up a long time ago was that even the lightest touch can deeply satisfy a lonely person, more than all the talking in the world ever could. I sometimes did this to Miss Patchouli, when I could tell she was lonely.

I looked over at Miss Louise, who was not handling her job as smoothly as I was. She had filled her customer's glass until it overflowed, and when the customer complained, she threw the contents of the glass in his face. I honestly don't know how it could go any worse. The rest of the night went by without much incident though, until the inn closed its bar/restaurant at two in the morning. There were a few attempted gropings, and Miss Louise was made fun of for being flat a lot. But we got through it, and Miss Louise had managed not to yell out she was a noble or anything foolish like that.

Scarron had given us a room to bed in, although there was only one bed in it. I sighed as Miss Louise pointed to the floor, my apparent resting place. At least Scarron had the decency to bring a futon into the room for me though.

"I-I-I-I can't believe t-that the daughter of a duke had to endure that!" Miss Louise complained a bit too loudly, and collapsed down onto her bed.

"Miss Louise, undercover work isn't easy." I said. "The princess trusts you because she believes you can handle it." It's always easier for people to pucker up when they are reminded what they are fighting for, and I saw the look on Miss Louise's face lighten.

"Right, for the princess." She exclaimed. "I can do this, even if it _is _degrading and disgustingly horrible and..." Miss Louise trailed off. She then went silent for a minute or two, before speaking again.

"This room is disgusting. I can't believe a noble like myself has to stay in such a place."

Sigh. "Miss Louise-" I began to say, but could not finish before three bats interrupted me by suddenly dropping from the ceiling and flying around our heads. After a bit of screeching and rustling of their wings, they flew back up into the crevasses of the ceiling. Did we wake them up? I looked over to Miss Louise, who had adopted the fetal position with the covers pulled over her head.

"Miss Louise," I said a bit more quietly. "Don't be afraid, they are only bats."

"H-How can you say that? Are you not afraid of bats?" She whispered loudly, afraid to wake them again.

"Ha ha, of course not." I couldn't help but laugh. A maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, afraid of bats. What could be more absurd of a thought?

"Why not...?" She said, quietly. I pondered a minute, but decided that it wasn't really best to tell Miss Louise about Remilia's true nature just quite yet.

"Let's just say that my mistress is rather fond of bats, and it would be unbecoming of me to fear them." Although as I said those words, I realized Remilia would find it absolutely hilarious if I was afraid of bats. I can only imagine the relentless amount of torture she would put me through if I were deathly afraid of _bats_.

"How can anyone be fond of bats..." Miss Louise murmured, yawning. Instead of pushing the conversation further, I let her fall asleep. As far as our investigation was concerned, it didn't look like any nobles had visited the bar this night. But there was always tomorrow.

…..

I was cleaning the bar from the previous night. It was about midday, and apparently the place got very messy after a shift. Beer was spilled, strange messes appeared in strange places, and an extensive clean-up was required. I guess that's what comes with the territory when your business model is getting all your customers dead drunk and shoving beautiful women in their faces. Miss Louise was absolutely fuming at the fact she had to clean something, to my amusement. It was a bit relaxing for me to forgo the respectful tones that I had to give Miss Louise normally.

"Hey," said Jessica, trying to get my attention. We were the only ones currently in the area, as the cleaning was almost done and most of the waitresses left to do their day jobs.

"Louise is an aristocrat, ain't she?" She asked immediately. Wow. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours.

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," I said in an obviously lying sort of way.

"Oh, don't lie. Everyone already knows. She has way too much pride, and yet she doesn't know the first thing about how to wash dishes or mop. She's no commoner." Jessica reasoned, and I had no choice but to concede.

"Would you please not _tell _her that you know? She's trying to hide it."

"That's trying to hide it?" Jessica said sarcastically. Both of us turned and saw Miss Louise on the other side of the room, who had her hand on her hip and was staring at a sponge as if it had killed her father.

"Right. Anyways, I would _really appreciate it _if no one would bring it up." I said, with a heavy emphasis on the middle three words while flashing a frightening smile towards Jessica. It caught her off guard.

"D-Don't worry a bit, no one who works here cares. Everyone here has backgrounds they aren't proud of...this is a safe place."

"Is that so. Well, thank you." I said, and finished cleaning the bar in preparation for the night's crowd.

The second night working for Scarron went by without incident, and it wasn't until the third night where things started to get interesting. It was a few hours into the night shift when a large, overweight man strutted through the front door as if he owned the place. Accompanying him were not one, not two, but six armed guards carrying spears in their hands and swords at their hips. As he entered, the other customers stealthily tried to exit the establishment as quickly as possible. The man and his guards strode over to one of the newly-free tables and sat down. I gave Jessica a questionable look.

"That's Turene, the tax collector." Jessica whispered. "He's obnoxious, handsy, and doesn't leave any tips. No one in their right mind would wait on him."

It shouldn't have surprised either of us to see Miss Louise head over to him from across the room.

"That idiot!" Jessica whispered loudly. We couldn't do anything as Miss Louise walked over to him with a bottle of red wine and began to pour him a glass.

"Mister, you are quite lovely." Miss Louise said in an uncharacteristically sweet voice. The tax collector in no subtle way got his face right up to her chest and stared intently. Miss Louise's face went bright red with embarrassment, but she held back the stream of harsh words she desperately wanted to say to the man. After a few seconds, the man pulled back his nose from her chest.

"Man, are they allowing boys to work here now?" He asked rhetorically. Miss Louise's face changed from red with embarrassment to red with anger, but she managed to hold back an outburst. It really was an impressive amount of self control, considering it was Miss Louise. Any other time and she would have exploded in rage at the man. "Ah, on second thought, you do seem to be a girl. I couldn't tell because you're so _flat." _The man added.

Miss Louise started to incoherently mutter, but I was unable to make out what she was trying to say. Even though I'm pretending not to be her servant, the cat was essentially out of the bag so I might as well go and help her. I walked over to the table that Miss Louise was trapped at, and bowed once I got close.

"I'm terribly sorry if you are not pleased with our service, sir." I said.

"What, _you _are who they decided to have replace this _flat girl?" _Turene spat at me.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Please. You're just as flat-chested as this pink-haired one is. Doesn't anyone in this place have a decent rack? Maybe you two should just use pads so that your-"

Miss Louise and I both punched Turene in the face before he could complete his thought. The force from the double hit knocked his chair backwards and sent him flying to the floor, the wine spilling all over his fancy clothes. Miss Louise and I looked at each other, after realizing what we'd done. Her expression was one that could only be described as finally realizing she had a comrade. In the war against big-breasted women, Miss Louise and I were noble warriors. Did that disgusting human really dare to imply I wore _pads? _I should kick him in the throat for good measure.

"Wh-what do you think you're doing?" The noble man screamed. "I am an aristocrat, you can't do this."

Miss Louise and I stepped to him, looking down at his face while his guards surrounded us. "This guy is really pissing me off, Louise." I said while smiling through gritted teeth.

"Yeah." She said, matching my tone. However, Turene's guards had circled us and pointed their spears in our direction, ready to defend their master. I held back a laugh. These guards were like children, holding sticks in their hands as if they could do anything. They didn't have nearly the expertise nor unity that Henrietta's knights had. I contemplated what to do, but Miss Louise had us step back as he picked himself up from the ground.

"I'll see that this place never runs again! Your tax will be beyond reason." Turene shouted at us, and turned on his coattails and stormed out of the building. His guards cautiously followed him while keeping their weapons trained on us until they also left through the door. After they left, some of the other girls shut the doors and locked them.

"YOU IDIOTS!" Jessica yelled. "That was _Turene. _He raises the taxes on anyone who doesn't treat him like a king. Any business that doesn't obey will be bankrupt within a month. You _screwed us! _He's going to destroy this inn!"

The girls stood around like frightened rabbits, worrying about what their futures held. I glanced at Miss Louise who was shocked and had guilt written all over her face. She had no idea what to say, so I had to step up to mitigate the damage. Miss Louise may have forgotten in the heat of the moment, but this Turene person seems exactly like the type of noble that Henrietta tasked us with locating. A perfect and elegant maid such as myself needs to always remember her primary goal.

"Please do not worry." I said. "Louise and I will take full responsibility for this incident."

"How do you plan on doing that?" Jessica asked.

"The entire reason we are here is because of Mr. Turene." I answered simply, and Miss Louise perked up. I guess she realized it too. "We shouldn't go into details, but Louise and I were tasked on exposing a corrupt aristocrat."

"R...really?"

"Really." I said and bowed to the staff. Then I took Miss Louise's hand to lead her out of the inn. We had no belongings to speak of, and while leaving Jessica, Scarron, and the rest of the waitresses worried about their uncertain futures, Miss Louise and I left the _Charming Fairy Inn _into the dimly lit city streets.

I led Miss Louise by the hand through the city streets back up to the capital, making sure that we didn't get separated in the darkness. It was late evening, long after the sun had set but before everyone had gone to bed. There were a few others prowling the streets, and the occasional shopkeeper or resident tidying up around their building.

"Sakuya," Miss Louise said while we walked, "are they going to be okay?"

"The staff of the inn, you mean?"

"Yeah...we did, kind of, ruin them..."

"Shouldn't this be the part where you say the commoners should be happy to serve the aristocrats?" I said with a small hint of sarcasm, although not to the point of making fun of Miss Louise.

"Well, they should, but Turene is...he's...a bad person. The commoners should look up to the nobles because we set a good example. Turene is setting a _bad _example."

"Ah..."

The rest of the walk was silent until we reached the gate of the Tristain Palace, and was greeted by a female door guard. She seemed cautious at first, but then recognized Miss Louise and let us through. Despite the maid uniform she was still wearing. I didn't expect to meet with the princess until morning, but to my surprise one of the guards motioned to us to follow him to the throne room. It was past eleven at night, did the princess really meet with people so late?

The guard led us to a large, wooden double door with a brilliant purple and blue gemstones laid into it. There were no markings on the door indicating what was behind it, but it was obviously very important. On either side of the door were long, purple tapestries hanging from the wall and a purple rug was stretched out in front of it. With three heavy knocks the guard banged on the door, then opened it without waiting for a response.

The doors opened to reveal a large, open room. The walls were lined with alternating purple and blue tapestries and flags bearing different insignias, with small windows in between. On the back wall there were numerous large portraits of various men and women who I didn't recognize, and in front of them was a large throne. The throne was made of some sort of metal, with various gems and sapphires carved into it. Sitting on this throne was the princess of Tristain, Henrietta. She was wearing a long, white dress with her silver tiara sitting atop her head. The room did not have quite the flair of evil that Remilia had decorated her own throne room with, but it had just as much showmanship.

"Ah, Louise, thank you for-pfft" Henrietta started to say, but then choked on her own words as Miss Louise entered the room. "Ahaha, what are you wearing?" She said between her laughs.

"Uuu..." Miss Louise complained while her face went beet red. "It..it was for the mission..."

"Well, it looks good on you." Henrietta said and smiled, although Miss Louise didn't seem to take that as a compliment. "So, what did you guys find out?"

"Right," Miss Louise said and regained her composure. "Well, the tax collector Turene has been oppressing the plebeians by raising taxes on anyone who doesn't do what he says. He puts good, hard-working people out of business!" Miss Louise said with gusto, happy that she had something substantial to report.

"Is that so..." Henrietta said, and a sad look crossed her face. It was just for a moment, but it looked extremely regretful, as if she had lost something precious to her. But it passed, and with a determined look she turned back to us.

"Thank you for your help," she said. "I will take care of the rest. If there's anything I can do to repay you, don't hesitate to ask. Oh, and you can use the guest rooms here in the palace to sleep tonight, if you wish."

"Ah, er, thank you princess." Miss Louise said, and bowed. I bowed with her, and together we left the throne room almost as quickly as we arrived. We passed by a few guards making the rounds across the palace, but they let us go without any interruption. I guess the uniforms we wore caused them to avert their eyes and ignore us. A good maid uniform can usually work better than an ID pass, after all.

When Miss Louise and I reached one of the guest rooms, she sluggishly wandered over to the bed and collapsed onto it. Funny, she didn't _seem _all that tired. I'm not good enough at reading Miss Louise yet, I take it. I repositioned her on the bed so that she would be more comfortable and drew the sheets over her.

"So, what's your deal?" The masculine voice of Derflinger said quietly, after I had finished with Miss Louise.

"My deal?" I asked the knife.

"You're not from this world, obviously. Don't try to hide it, I can tell a great deal of things. And there's something very strange going on with your body."

"I know I'm beautifully perfect and elegant, but I wouldn't call it strange."

"Ha ha, that's not quite what I meant, doll. I don't know what to call it. It's like things aren't lining up correctly."

"Well, I'll leave that mystery for you to solve." I said cryptically. What Derfligner was noticing of course was the various spacial manipulations that I hold near and on my body. I have to store those knives _somewhere, _after all. I'm a bit impressed he noticed, although I doubt he'll be able to accurately describe exactly what is happening.

Derfligner and I chatted awhile about Gensokyo and various things, which I found to be very enjoyable. He kept good company, much better than all the humans in this place. It was nice to talk to something nonhuman, like back in Gensokyo. And he rather enjoyed it as I stroked and admired his blades. Eventually I decided to go to sleep, and Derflinger entered some sort of hibernation mode or whatever it is he does. I'm not the only one with mysterious inter-workings.

…..

When Miss Louise woke, I cleaned her up and presented her with some garments more suited for an aristocrat like herself. Miss Louise had brought a few personal belongings on the trip, but they had been taken by the princess while we were undercover. They were delivered to our room in the night, so I was able to properly groom Miss Lousie in the morning. The servants also let me use their kitchen to prepare her breakfast.

After breakfast, Miss Louise and I coincidentally ran into Princess Henrietta, who was running around frantically shouting orders to various people. She briefly mentioned to us that they had taken Turene into custody during the night for abusing his authority, and he would be tried and punished this afternoon. Seemed a bit rushed in my opinion, but who was I to judge? That's Shikieiki's realm of expertise. Miss Louise seemed expressly interested in witnessing the trial, so I had no choice but to wait around with her until it was time for the sentencing.

At high noon, a large crowd began to gather at the front of the palace. There was a large, wooden stage set up that was meant for demonstrations and speeches, so it was a good five feet off of the ground and sturdily built. I couldn't estimate how many people were gathered here, but it looked like most of the people who work in the market district had shown up, which was a majority of the city. I could see Scarron and Jessica standing around with worried looks on their faces, and even the shopkeeper we bought Derfligner from. Turene really got around, it seems.

What really caught my eye though was something on the stage. It was tall, twice as tall as any man and covered by a thick brown cloth. I couldn't imagine what it could possibly be, but it looked slightly intimidating standing there all alone. I wasn't the only one, as I could hear a number of people ask about it to their friends. I looked at Miss Louise, but she just shrugged.

Soon enough, Princess Henrietta walked onstage. Following her were four guards who held Turene by his arms. The crowd started to cheer as they saw him dragged up onto the stage in chains. The expression on Henrietta's face was serious, and it didn't change as she waited for the crowd to die down. After it was sufficiently quiet, her voice boomed loudly across the open square, enhanced by some unseen magic.

"My people, I have been hearing horrible things as of late. It saddens my heart to learn of what has been going on. The aristocracy has been pushing around and oppressing the plebeians, and then daring to call themselves noble. This is truly a shame upon all of us noble men and women. We are supposed to be the ones that the common people look up to with pride! With admiration! But instead, our power has taken over our minds, and we use that power to hurt others. I am truly, truly saddened by this. My Royal Tax Collector Turene, for example, has been unfairly raising taxes on you for unjust, selfish reasons! Taxes are surely important for the kingdom, but they are not to be taken from the people unjustly! I cannot allow myself to _steal _from my own people, and call myself your queen!"

Henrietta took a breath. The crowd was getting riled up, as this was something they had been wanting to hear for a long, long time. The commoners' hatred of the nobles was oh-so-obviously clear, and I was impressed by Henrietta for picking up on it when none of her kin did. Her speech continued.

"And so, that is why we are all here. Because this must stop! This oppression, this cruelty. I, Henrietta de Tristain, declare that from today onward things will be different. I can foresee a country where the common people and the magic-users can get along, unimpeded by something so arbitrary as 'nobility.' And it starts with the judgment of Turene! He has stolen tens if not hundreds of thousands of coin from the commoners, without any punishment. If anyone but a noble had stolen something like that, they would be executed for it."

Henrietta paused again, and the crowd was silent, waiting for her next words. She strode over to the clothed object in the center of the stage, and grasped it in her hands.

"So that is what I plan on doing to him!" She yelled, and tore the cloth off of what it had been concealing. The crowd went silent out of shock, either from her words or what she had revealed.

It stood tall, as a tower, an obelisk, stretching high into the sky. It towered above all of the commoners, all of the nobles, the tax collector Turene, and Henrietta herself. It stood above everyone, looking down upon them with an intimidating gaze. The wooden framework was solid and firm, heavily supported at the base giving rise to two long, vertical planks. They were adjoined at the top, and sitting fixed between them was the blade. The large, thick, and terrifying blade sharpened to a forty-five degree angle. At the base were the stocks, two holes for hands and one for a head, located directly under the blade by about ten feet. There was no doubt about what this was, or what was its purpose.

It was a guillotine.

The instrument of death that judges all fairly and equally. Disregarding nobility or circumstance or lineage, disregarding gender and race, disregarding knowledge and stupidity, it judges all of its victims with a clean death. I stood in amazement at what Henrietta had revealed. Did she understand the implications of such a device? Not just its purpose, but its symbolism? Its _meaning?_

The guillotine is a symbol of equality. It shows that the aristocracy does not have freedom from prosecution. Breaking the law results in death, there are no exceptions. It doesn't matter who or what you are, when you are put in that device, and that blade comes slicing down, the richest king and the poorest peasant are one and the same.

"This is a device given to us by the good people in Romalia, called a _guillotine._" The princess continued. "You have been wronged by this man, and now he will be judged for his crimes!"

Henrietta motioned to the guards, who dragged Turene over to the device.

"Wha—What is that?!" he shouted. "You can't do this! I am a noble, you cannot do this!" He kept repeating. The guards heard none of it though, and I swear I saw one of them smirk. They fastened his hands and head into the stock, and locked it with a resounding click. The crowd had still not made a sound.

"No! You can't! I am Turene!" The tax collector's words kept coming out, but they still held no weight. Henrietta interrupted him by continuing her speech.

"From this moment on, nobles will suffer the same punishment as the commoners for their crimes. Oppression will _no longer be tolerated. _Anyone—be it a plebeian, or a noble, or _royalty—_who breaks this law will find themselves suffering the same fate as this man here."

Henrietta finished her speech, and then grasped a lever on the side of the guillotine. With a heavy pull, she yanked it down.

The blade fell.

With a loud tear, the blade tore through Turene's neck and hit the panel below. Blood spattered from his severed arteries onto the guillotine's blade and wooden supports, spilling onto the stage below and dying the area a crimson red. The lower body slumped over and collapsed onto the ground, its blood pooling around it. The severed head fell forwards—bouncing as it hit the ground—and rolled off the stage.

And after the crowd had realized what had happened, they cheered. They cheered and shouted and hugged their neighbors. This was surely the greatest thing that the commoners had ever seen. I rather enjoyed it as well, nothing like watching some human get his head chopped off. This was clearly Henrietta's first time, because the head had fallen off and bounced into the crowd where the commoners had kicked it around a bit. Humans really are foul creatures, despite the claims otherwise.

I glanced at Miss Louise. She had gone pure white, and was not cheering. She looked as if she had seen a monster, a look of fear and incomprehension on her face. Ah, right. She's a noble. This little act is extremely bad news for her and her friends. And plus, her childhood friend Henrietta had instigated it. Miss Louise must be completely terrified, alone, and confused right now.

I ignored it.


End file.
